A game like Stardew Valley but you’re a SERIAL KILLER

A game like Stardew Valley but you’re a SERIAL KILLER

Hey there friends how’s it going my name is kevin and today we’re playing lake view valley it’s basically like statue valley except you’re a murderer and you’re no it’s it’s nothing like statue valley sorry i mean the name is similar it’s in a valley oh my god he looks

Terrifying sex no that won’t be happening a nice mullet would suit him and that goofy little mustache he looks like a stereotypical cartoon villain okay fine he’s an escaped convict apparently all right his name is murderer i just like being upfront with people you know speaking of being upfront sorry

To interrupt you there past kevin but i just wanted to quickly let you know i’ll be doing a stream with the folks over at two point hospital on their stream channel the link will be in the description that’ll be tomorrow tuesday the 25th 4 pm gmt up until 8 pm gmt so

If you want to come by we’re doing some fun things over there but yeah other than that i’ll just let you watch the video sorry for interrupting back to you past kevin and murderer of course look at him he looks so [ __ ] cartoony evil why would they even allow him into

The valley you okay back there you haven’t said a word this whole time we’ve been driving i’d be so pissed if the bus driver said that to me it’s like that’s why i didn’t take an uber i don’t want to interact with anyone trouble with love maybe oh yeah this is the

Power to just jump off the bus oh my god what the hell is wrong with him jesus christ i think we crashed there’s still tons of blood all over the place this is why the bus driver shouldn’t be making conversation i still remember to thank the bus driver though

Please okay we’re off to a fantastic start is this a hammer i have the hammer oh god he’s fighting back no hold on oh geez i’m covered in blood i didn’t expect this i just wanted to knock him out dude you’ve already killed one person today how are you going to

Explain this with self defense it’s not going to work i keep [ __ ] missing him whoever’s in that tree can you help me out oh welcome to lakeview valley i don’t know if they’re gonna welcome me when there’s this trail of blood behind me like they’re gonna blame me for the

Other murder now too oh no oh no he’s dying he’s dying but he’s running away come back okay i think i hit him again before we made it to the next screen continually you know what i think i’ll restart that day if that’s possible oh jesus that went bad look if you don’t

Want me to murder someone don’t leave a hammer just on the floor i still want to murder him though my guys those cartoony villain ever yeah okay i got two solid hits there there’s another attack though that like slows down i don’t know what it does like what

Is happening am i dead i think i’m rolling away he’s looking around like oh how do i explain this i should have just continued when i [ __ ] murderized him off screen all right i’m just gonna walk away not because i want the bus driver to live but just because i don’t want to

Make the entire video about beating up a bus driver oh this old lady should do oldest resident here surely she’ll be easy for me to take then come on she won’t fight back will she yeah she’s just running away immediately okay please don’t get help how many times uh

Do i have to hit her how weak is my guy oh [ __ ] sick i knew you were in trouble get ready to pay for your crimes needs a [ __ ] sword okay this was a mistake i’m dead okay let’s try not murdering immediately this time she’s just going

Back to the fountain she’s like i’m not letting that bastard affect my day okay i just looked up some weapons the sword is found in the cabin in the middle of the lake let’s go find that you stop right there i didn’t actually do anything this time you must be the new

Owner of that house up north glad to finally meet you okay this interaction is going a lot better oh is that my key just head north of the lake until you find a giant gate you can’t miss it i’ll be seeing you okay good that means the

Lake is up this way and i can go get my sword okay this is a problem why is there a cattle blocking the path i appreciate the cones being put down okay they can’t seem to move the cow i’ll try and help them with that later

Where is the lake is this the lake is that my house i heard something when i went past there okay probably just the wind great i’ve become a skyrim guard oh map thank god i might be able to actually find my way around i’m here my

House should be up here then around all these flies i guess and that’s the island i need to get to but i don’t know how to get to that okay i thought he was gonna stop me or something he looks like he’s ready for a pokemon battle Private property go away oh no oh no he’s got a shotgun i don’t want to fight this guy i’m out of here i’m leaving i’ll deal with you another time i want to kill everyone in the town that is my goal but i gotta start with the weak oh

He can swim no he can’t swim he can just walk on the lake bed this doesn’t seem like a good idea but i really want that sword the hell is that thing go away go away okay i think i’m drowning and i i don’t know what to do god damn it how do

I get up onto the the little island fec’s sake i’m dead there’s gotta be a way to this island is this my house oh my god it’s huge i’m so lucky maybe not super lucky too early oh i can’t do a stairjew valley where i just go to sleep

20 minutes after waking up why are these creeps hanging out in trees hello he’s telling me to go into the lake i have a bad history with the lake okay my scarecrow’s talking to me i think okay i probably shouldn’t attack it it’s probably gonna show up in the middle of

The night or something it looks so empty even though it looks big enough to fit a villager it seems to be open at midnight and i think it’s hungry what are you talking about like i actually want to know it would be nice to know where i

Can dump a body maybe it’s the thing in the tree i don’t know i’ll bring a body back for you as soon as i can a little motorbike for sale can i buy that 200 in cash do i have enough yes i don’t even know if i have enough looks like you’re

A little short on the money i mean if i killed him i could just take it anyone else home doesn’t look like it yeah it looks like it’s pretty abandoned i think this might be my chance to kill i hope he fights back though like i usually

Don’t want them to but if he runs it seems to be hard to kill in this game oh [ __ ] he is fighting back he is fighting back come over here come over here he’s coming too close to me oh no oh no his wife is home or something it’s just boys

Playing in the air boys will be boys and all that oh no oh no oh no don’t get the sheriff don’t get the sheriff his wife just walked by she did not give a [ __ ] no no no no no no no no no no stop stop

Stop stop stop oh [ __ ] sake he’s gonna get away isn’t he i need a better weapon oh wait he bled out okay well that’s probably a good thing um what do i do now i’m pulling him he seems to be cooperating can i just dump him in the

Lake come on in buddy okay he’s gone i should probably wash off shouldn’t i oh wait i think i’m wounded oh [ __ ] i’m just out for a swim just ignore me i’m too obviously a villain it couldn’t be me like it’s all with someone you wouldn’t think of you know it’s never

The most likely suspect is it oh my god i’m bleeding so bad i hope there are no sharks in this lake she’s just watching me should i leave i’m gonna leave oh for effects sake i bled out [ __ ] i’m gonna have to get a better weapon because i

Can’t get past the first day without it okay there’s a knife found on the top of the rock shelf in the woods enter the woods from the north there are many snakes oh [ __ ] sake why do i have to earn things why can’t it just be handed

To me what the hell i think this person may have been dead before they got hit by the bus okay i’m carrying the body away i don’t know if i should be doing this you look like a decent person so let me give you a piece of advice don’t trust

The town folk i don’t trust them anyway that’s why i was murdering them yeah i have a feeling she was murdered before she got hit by the boss that’s my thinking anyway but that’s none of my business i’m just murderer after all what would i know oh football yeah oh

Wait he’s in there too i’ll float too i bet did you know serial killers usually start out by practicing on little animals think about that what’s that supposed to mean this woman is looking for a cat is he telling me to murder the cat i just want a good weapon like for

Self-defense and also murdering people who’s this house let me in we don’t socialize when i’m popular people well then i’ll just come back and kill you that is if i can ever get this murdering thing down it seems pretty difficult oh [ __ ] snakes are fast oh my god i’m gonna

Die aren’t i i’m gonna [ __ ] die okay this is definitely where i should be but also definitely where i shouldn’t be i found the knife okay can you stop can you just could you just stop for just a second okay i’ve got the knife i don’t know i’m

Going the other way because it’ll draw even more snakes on me i’m never going to make it back to the hospital stop it please just give me a chance the game is loading stop hitting me run to the hospital run to the hospital oh get him instead jesus christ it has it out

For me this doesn’t look good this doesn’t look good this is look good but i’m not bleeding as much as i was earlier and i lasted like surprisingly long last time slow no now i’m bleeding a lot someone sucked the venom out okay i’m almost there that is the hospital

Yeah treat me yes i feel much better now okay i need to go rest in my house because i cannot do that again i was too stressful and then i can cause some mischief tomorrow are you strong enough to get an apple from the tree i’ll make sure to tell everyone

How strong here oh god i gotta do it i gotta impress this kid okay i don’t think this little butter knife is gonna do it sorry little billy jesus christ i tried to sleep and this guy came into my house back in hell trust the frog there’s still time for a sleep tight

Murderer wait were you accusing me of being a murderer just saying my name i need that clarified well that was [ __ ] terrifying i wasn’t expecting that oh well better sleep soundly i’ve got a lot of murdering to do tomorrow oh my god what the hell happened here god

Damn reggie this is a real mess oh it’s from the the boss oh yeah i forgot i moved the body up there who did he say he’s talked to oh yes murderer it’s like hmm might just be sheriff’s intuition but i’ve got a hunch i wonder

If our plan is already ruined off what are they up to need to crap okay thanks i think the sheriff investigates every night so the bodies have to be hidden morning murderers slept well like a baby i’ll get out of your hair now is that a balding joke all right i believe the

Game is saved now so well first of all i need a crap well this is just terribly unpleasant isn’t it all right well i want to go try and steal that motorbike okay that was easy [Laughter] It’s the noisiest getaway vehicle ever but it’s mine now can i hide it behind the house oh that fell off okay you know what it’ll be fine up there they won’t see it oh for fixing the cow’s in the way can i get around well i murdered the cow

For no [ __ ] reason hopefully they’ll just move the cow now that it’s dead i’m sure there was another way of doing that but oh well we’ll never know hey kid how’s your day going his big old smile he’s totally over that murder already choose your fighter i i didn’t really want to

Play this one kind of looks like me i don’t know how to play i don’t think he does either i’ve no idea how to play that game much like most games that i play oh that’s for all the snakes where you can see all my blood all over the place oh

I’m digging up graves yes i’m finding riches okay well that was fun but i can’t carry both things so i’m just gonna wander off with my knife now oh my god who is this this seems like a perfect opportunity for a murderer hey there stranger my name is

Matthew but you probably already knew that i’m not exactly a nobody you’re out here sunbathing and a full clothing out in the woods ooh i’m really sweaty i just want to get out of these clothes they’re so limiting will you consent to intercourse with matthew no he’s like

Yeah i was just joking i will consent to killing him though no don’t hit me back no no no no no this is bad you don’t want to hit me i know a cool dead end over here come here to the graveyard oh he’s dead okay great oh but

I’m bleeding all right leave the knife here i’ll be back i gotta go get cleaned up don’t die for once don’t die there’s just pools of blood leading to all of my crimes well to be fair my first one was just a crime against snakes that was a

Bit of a hate crime but i don’t think the people care about that i don’t know if all this running is good for me body found [ __ ] and my knife is right there with it he’s like what seems to be the problem his blood pours from me all

Right back to the forest i go i don’t know if i should return to the scene of the crime or not but hey look the cow’s been moved so that’s good oh he wants to paint my house now’s a good time painted red i have a feeling like there’s gonna

Be a lot of red all over my property and it’ll just help with a few explanations i don’t have any money you want money in exchange for these goods and services no comment about the cow being murdered or anything oh no where’s she going is she saying about the body she’s gonna tell

On me maybe i can go hide the body before they get there she’s a slow old woman she’ll never make it in time but where can i hide the body oh this is a problem oh fact the sheriff’s on the way oh okay i was just going the opposite

Direction actually this is a wrong turn i was looking for my house i’m new to these parts i’m so screwed oh you [ __ ] look at here little smug face easy bank i think i can get some money here he said like a loan or something you see

You’re eligible for valley aid every day for a week yes give me money i can’t stop thinking about matthew why why did he how did you know that already you realize that he died like an hour ago you didn’t even take the day off work i’m sorry this isn’t your problem just

Take this give me a hundred bucks now now murderer i’m pretty sure you already claimed your daily money covered in her husband’s blood i wonder will i ever get my knife back i miss it so much i’m gonna clean the bus let’s just leave it there like i would

Let the rain take care of this oh no where are they all running to i think donna’s realized maybe she was talking about something else she didn’t realize that her husband was murdered ah but look at the time it’s almost getting ready for bedtime right everyone we

Should all forget about this like they seem to just brush off yesterday’s death can they not do it again i wonder is everyone rushing off to see the body like could i trespass on that guy’s property now or is he still guarding it with his shotgun oh no he’s still there

Frank doesn’t like people from outside the valley frank has some trust issues i think is it danger to the valley that weapon should be taken from him you seem like a much more balanced person to wield a shotgun just saying oh you are a poor judge of character i have a feeling

That they’re gonna arrive in the middle of the night with pitchforks and they’re gonna kill me wait what are you doing looking at my house like that i’ve got a stick and i’m not afraid to use it hey murderer how’s it going she said it’d be

Great to get to know you better oh stay on your guard murderer committed a lot of good crimes today you stole the the bike and you murdered someone you have this bag of trash i’m just gonna bring it out to the road i don’t want it on my property that’s how garbage collection

Works i believe she’s just watching me do it here a gift this is what i think of you i’ll just get naked all right much better i’m gonna go out and see her again just trying to rack up as many crimes as i can in one day she doesn’t

Seem to care though can i clean my clothes i would really like to know that oh i can thank god okay now i don’t look suspicious look at the state of them oh yes just having a good time swimming it is now night time time to

Return to bed oh i’m very interested to see what the sheriff will say today and i love how i didn’t lock my door i didn’t learn a lesson from last night damn let’s see what we have here jesus it looks brutal like all the graves are dug up there’s a knife there blood

Everywhere leading all the way to the hospital where i’m probably the only person to get treated for wounds that day two pieces of evidence what was the other one and several fingerprints on oh no i didn’t know you had that sort of technology here nobody reported any suspicious behavior the guy running

Around in blood soaked clothes the guy going in with wounds to his chest the guy stripping down and running around his house in a panic oh i found a weapon that might have been used in a previous murder and there were fingerprints in conclusion don’t say me

I’m innocent hungry good thing i have this mushroom well stomach filled everyone what a fantastic day to be alive i’m going back into the forest oh there goes the sheriff god he’s a fast one or maybe i’m seeing things i don’t know either way i

Think that was a good time to end it jesus christ this game is weird but i like it if you want to see more please let me know because i’d be totally down to ruin this community more i think i’ve finally gotten the hang of it i got a

Murderer under my belt i’ve got a robbery under my belt a streak under my belt i guess really there was nothing under my belt in that one what a bizarre little game though it does seem like fun i hope you guys liked it and i hope you

Want to see more because i’d be looking forward to playing more of this um but yeah let me know if you do want to see more i appreciate you watching even if you don’t want to see more and you think you know what i hate this guy i’ll ever watch again but

I still appreciate you and i hope to see you next time hopefully you’ll change your mind bye for now

A game like Stardew Valley but you’re a serial killer, a very different valley
Two point hospital stream will be here tomorrow: https://www.twitch.tv/twopointstudios/ #ad

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Edited by @Kippesoep001, @TropicalFreeze2 and Kevin

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