I Ranked Every Stardew Valley NPC (Without Remorse)

I Ranked Every Stardew Valley NPC (Without Remorse)

If you’ve ever played stardew Valley you understand the type of emotional damage that it gives you leaving your psyche stained with a certain type of codependency that will never leave you and ruins your life forever and today I’m gonna be fighting back alright this is our group therapy session I am ready

To take back control of this area of my life okay these people have wronged me too many times I am ready to go I want my life back and I’m sure you do too if you’ve seen any of these people before please call your local Law Firm just to

Cry on the phone with them and waste their time of course we have a bunch of tears that you may or may not know me by I have a lot of weird ranking systems and I’m not proud of it but here we are anyway up top in our as tiers Andrew

Tate’s mugshot it fills me with joy I think it could be a new potential cure for cancer I like seeing men lose it makes me feel better it makes me feel good you know you get in one of your 33 cars and you escape the police oh no you

Can’t because you’re too busy thinking about the fact that you have 33 cars Andrew Tates was a sad existence and you know what it’s even sadder now and it fills me with joy I’m more powerful than I’ve ever been in my life and I don’t

Plan to stop I hope to take down a small Empire soon next we have convincing a small child of a harmless lie I think the only role that an adult should have other than teacher or parent in a child’s life is lie Giver alright I want

To sit there and tell a child a very harmless lie that they will get very angry at me for in the future one of my favorites is that wheat is actually just grass that they didn’t mow for too long I love that one another one that I love

Is that the stalagmites and caves are edible but they don’t give them to children because they cause bone deformities I don’t know where I came up with these but I like spreading them around and I hope one day that every single child has been inflicted with a

Lie that will change their life forever but in no specific way convince a small child of a lie today it is the only fun you can have at this age anymore and I keep doubting Monster energy drinks and coming up with new ones so I’m a constant Source next we have 1am

Melancholy reconnections this is when I stay up a little too late and I start contacting people that I haven’t talked to in years if you got one of my 1am texts I’m sorry I will probably forget to text you ever again but at that one moment when the star is aligned you are

The only thing on my mind and now I think about it with fondness and sadness a grave liminal space inside of my brain will be there forever next we have youth pastor that might be fruit the reason this is so low is because I honestly think that every single youth pastor

That might be fruity has the worst jokes you’ve ever heard in your life he’s trying to make a Christian joke okay he’s trying to make sure you think Jesus is cool but also a little bit fun a little bit spicy a little bit MTV coated okay this youth pastor is going to

Convince you that he thinks that you are a cool little dude and he’s going to ruffle your hair but in the future he’s going to cry in the closet just like me we’ve all been there okay we’ve all been there second to bottom tier is HBO Max ad for another show before

The show you want to watch it makes me so angry okay I clicked on that show I have HBO Max already okay you’re not going to get any more money from me choosing to still have HBO Max I clicked on a show for a certain reason I want to

Watch that show I chose that show because I want to watch it I’ve already seen the banner ads for the other show you’re giving me if I wanted to be amongst the gods I would have headed for the sky and not the ground all right

Listen to me I make my own choices in this life and the path that I have honed out for myself is going to be my own and you cannot influence it last but not least we have Z Library going down this is a metaphor I never use the library I

Would never do that I never used it okay it looks like our list here is an alphabetical order which is great because I’m dyslexic and I wouldn’t have been able to organize some otherwise first off we have Abigail I have really mixed feelings about Abigail

To be honest with you I feel like I love her from afar but she is terrifying to me when I get closer like she works at a Route 21 and is trying to sell me the cheapest we’re selling perfume I’ve ever seen in my life but I don’t want to say

No because she’s hot you know I do find Abigail very attractive I think she’s gorgeous I do think she’s a product at the wizard and Caroline but that’s not my business it is my business and I will get involved in it Abigail seems to be like one of those extroverts I’m really

Scared of like some extroverts are great don’t get me wrong but if she came up to me in the mall I would cry I would break down and cry and I’d probably throw up on her shoes and she would be really angry about it and storm off and then

Apologize to me later I don’t understand what you’re looking at me like that for Abigail but at the same time she is also a funny Little Rock eater and I would give anything to eat Rock so I admire her tenacity you are terrifying to me but damn you do play that flute quite

Well you are a Bard you are the absolute Angel of Music okay I think that’s beautiful I think we need more flute players like her who will absolutely destroy your psyche in the middle of the night if I was married to her I think I would deteriorate over time but maybe in

A fun way you know maybe in a Ramona Flowers way we don’t know about that I think that’s kind of where she was supposed to be she has a conflict in my mind at all times she is the beauty of a sun catcher but the blinding of the UV

Rays youth pastor who might be fruity because she gives the Vibes that she’s trying to connect with me but she’s also hiding something dark and secret which is probably just that she is a child of infidelity next we have Alex Alex apologists buckle up okay start typing I

Want you to start typing now so you can be done by the time I stop talking about Alex I want you to get going I want you to bring out your nasty stencils I want you to tell me why exactly you hate me why he’s a good person I will be reading

All of them go for it I like an essay I will be grading you I hate Alex okay I don’t care that he has a good back story or a good reason to be like this okay I grew up in a sewer and I’m fine theoretically I have a couple of

Genetic issues but I’m fine I don’t care he might have some good backstory he might be a sweet guy once you get to know him okay I’m not going to take the time to get to know him because he is being a dick to me at all times and not

In the same way as somebody else I will be talking about later okay don’t even Peg me for that don’t even go for me for that because I know full well I think he learned the word misogynist from the dictionary and decided to start using it as his personality as his cover-up and

You know what pick a better one I don’t want to hear about football he’s the reason that my entire Twitter is clogged up with football tags okay I don’t want to hear about that I don’t like football I don’t like sports I want to hear about people fighting I want to hear about

People slapping each other in the Walmart parking lot he is clogging that up and he’s the kind of person who would sell steroids and then be kind of concerned when they started working I think that you need to move on and become better and make a conscious

Choice to be a good person Alex otherwise I don’t with you HBO Max ad he is impeding my daily life I don’t want to see him I have already made my choice and he is not going to be influencing it he’s just wasting my time I had to Google this woman earlier even

Though I did her entire storyline okay I don’t understand where she came from but now that I’ve done some Googling and refresh my memory and seen the Fountain of Youth birdie hi how’s it going birdie is a part of the 1.5 update for ginger Island and I appreciate her presence

Because she looks like she has contained every single person’s soul who has passed away over the years she is The Book of Life she will read out your exact date and time of death and she will be remorseful of it she will guide you through it she is the spirit that

Will take you to the afterlife because God damn she is old but like for her age is she not looking incredible are you kidding me look at her shadow look at her brows she looks gray this woman is ethereal she is my grandma who will take me from Dimension to Dimension trying

Out different drugs with me I think she’s been on more ketamine than any horse has ever tried in its life and I appreciate that you know you gotta look up to somebody and I think in my case it’s going to be birdie I want hair like that that looks like CMOS with flowers

In it I wish that were me God damn I wish that were me a being that’s like a biblically accurate angel that floats around in your room at all times giving you unnerving nightmares but also taking them away the second you start screaming birdie killed God unfortunately you know

I don’t know what to say about that but you know what if you can do it okay I respect you 1am Melancholy reconnection mostly because of the fact that I feel like I would see her in my dreams I’m so sorry for what I’m about to do to you so

We have the bouncer here and you would think I would have nothing to say about this man okay you would think I could not even pull something out of my ass here but guess what I did one night a few months ago when I was playing

Stardew I decided to come up with a very detailed explanation of his backstory and how he got here so I’m going to read that to you and then rank him based on that this is a personality that I have given him and concerned ape would probably murder me for put me on the

Cross buddy I’m gonna read it anyway so the bouncer he used to be a Hitman one of the best Northeast Chicago had ever seen he kept his personal life to a minimum lived in the shadows drank a little too much but I digressed he didn’t do it for the money not even

Because he wanted to be told that somebody was proud of him because he didn’t get that in his childhood he really loved the sensation of killing and taking a life and he drank the blood himself that was the only nourishment he got it’s the only way he got iron he was

Extremely iron deficient and that’s why he originally started killing to get the iron from somebody else’s blood but he fell in love with it he’s a very odd man but I appreciate the grind the only person that he ever let into his little Hitman world was his girlfriend Melanie

From Brooklyn she had a nice Brooklyn accent I want you to imagine this Melanie was pretty keeping to herself they never really got that close she didn’t want anything to do with his business she knew about it but she didn’t like getting her hands dirty she wanted no blood under her fingernails

You understand what I mean it all went really well for him he was having his best life he felt like he was in a really beautiful state of mind he felt like he had the life he had always wanted as a child until he got a request

To kill Melanie from an anonymous source why would anyone want to do that I mean like seriously Melanie kept her hands dry she was completely away from this she was completely disconnected so he didn’t know anything about why anyone would want to harm her nobody had ever

Wronged her that she knew of and she had never wronged anybody that’s why they got along so well because she knew she was never in danger however this bugged the bound so he couldn’t just say no he couldn’t just forget about this he needed to know why somebody wanted

Melanie dead was she hiding something was she some kind of spy was she out to get him too so he investigated the person calling in the request had pretty poor security poor judgment his IP address was relatively easy to find okay you know anybody could do it anybody

With a browser could do it and in the fit of blind rage he goes to that house only to find his boyfriend Javier who he broke up with five years ago out there begging on his knees saying please take me back please I want to be with you

Again I can’t live my life like this anymore he really needed the bouncer back that was the only thing holding him together but the balancer said no the bouncer said he was happy with the life he had created Javier was a figment of his past and he didn’t want to go back

To that he had moved on already he had taken his sweet time moving on but he felt good about where he was and Javier couldn’t live with that so he quietly detonated a bomb between the counter cushions that the bouncer was sitting on the bouncer heard the very silent hiss

Of the bomb while Javier was still talking he jumped out the window he broke his wrist and now he was terrified Javier knew what he was Javier could report him to the police at any time if he survived he didn’t know if Javier was going to survive or not if he was going

To escape but he couldn’t take that risk so he packed everything up and he moved to stardew Valley alone where he met a mischievous and mystery man named Mr key who was blue as he was probably in the Blue Man Group we don’t know he was offered a lucrative job where he could

Only go by the the bouncer he was instructed to be as weird and odd and off-putting as possible it was the perfect job for him he could stay safe he could become a new person but he still got to be weird as hell that’s where we know him today he was almost

Blown up by his ex-lover and he still thinks about Javier constantly wondering how his life would be different if he just went back to him anyway I love the bouncer now dearly but I feel like his life choices were kind of odd and weird and I don’t feel safe around him that

Much I feel like he has made some interesting choices I really do I’m gonna say 1am melon call UE connection because I feel like he fantasizes about having one with Melanie I think he still thinks about her every day Caroline Oh my God we’ve got Abigail’s mother and

Possibly the lover of the wizard now the wizard is an interesting human being to me so we’re gonna get to him at some point but Caroline I feel like God she is trapped you know I don’t support any kind of cheating okay I think that is completely shitty I think you are a

Shitty human being if you cheat on anybody however if you were trapped in a marriage with Pierre of all people I can cut you a little bit more okay I really can Caroline reminds me of somebody who has lost themselves so much in the life that they’ve chosen they have completely

Isolated themselves from society that she has become a new person I feel like she’s become something different and completely an amalgamation of every single person in this town she has only been absorbing people’s personalities over and over again while still keeping her devoid of any emotion I wanna know

Caroline’s backstory where did she come from why is she like this now what brought her to Pierre’s arms and how do we get her away from this man I hate Pierre so much with my whole heart HBO Max ad I think I feel sorry for her I

Really do but there is no life behind this all right there is no future for Caroline see the reason I didn’t put Alex in the bottom tier is because I had to save it for a very certain selection of people and Clint is one of them Clint

Is my enemy I hate him worse than Pierre I hate him worse than Alex I hate him worse than a couple other people will mention later Clint is the dying painful breath of somebody who has been suffering their entire life okay somebody who has nothing to look back on

Somebody who’s flash of their life before their eyes before they die is empty and filled with sorrow clinches the feeling of running out of your antidepressants and feeling the impending doom of the brain zaps that are about to come on you I think that he is the worst possible person that you

Could have pulled out of the depths of hell and yet he’s still swinging they wouldn’t make him King because everybody hated him down there too much and it was hell you know something’s wrong when people are kicking you out of hell all right Clint needs to be studied so that

We know what happened here you Clint Z Library going down he was the reason Z Library went down I fear I think it’s that I think that he was the person who was torrenting and removing it he is the only person who is fantasized about watching 50 Shades of

Gray this guy smashed his own finger with a rock and then started eating the bones I hate him okay I don’t even have concrete evidence I’m just a hateful spiteful person other than Emily okay you know what the concrete evidence is just that I don’t like him Demetrius let

Me get real for a moment I really wish that there were other characters of color here because I don’t like the Demetrius is one of the only ones and they made him into a bad father I don’t like that that’s not something I really think was a good choice he is a horrible

Father to both Sebastian and Maru all right I cannot trust this man he gives you such this false impression that he is the Town Hero that he has grown every single Fruit by hand and he will be giving them to you that he has taken the entire town and rebuilds it from the

Ground up but he’s the scientist that’s going to cure cancer I mean I bet his scientific work is fantastic I really do I just don’t understand why he has to treat Maru like she’s an object and he has to treat Sebastian like he’s a piece of lint under the floor that he keeps

Stomping down but it keeps coming back up it’s not gay son thought daughter anymore it is scientist daughter scene son and he has hated both of them and I just despise it I really do all right don’t talk to me that way he thinks that I’m gonna steal Mario you know what I

Just might I might kiss her on the lips why not does it make you mad Demetrius did your strawberry experiment start failing because I kissed her daughter so passionately I’m gonna put him with Abigail and you’re gonna have to hear me out here okay this is the most repressed

Man I’ve ever seen in my life okay he was never taught how to handle his emotions he was never taught how to be a parent he is just constantly hiding himself away but all that comes out is the anger Demetrius we can fix you but

It’s not going to be me the dwarf hi dwarf little baby hi little dwarf baby I love you I want to kiss you on the forehead and ruffle the hair that you don’t have the single patch of weird Moss like fur that’s on your head I’m

Gonna ruffle it like you’re my kid I want to adopt the dwarf I want him to consume all of my thoughts and make me into some kind of horrible vessel for a demon I think that the dwarf shops at Hot Topic but he won’t tell anybody about that because that’s not really Mo

Behavior no no he shops from only thrift stores and he gets all his punk T-shirts from depop he would never go into a Hot Topic but I saw him there at the mall last week and he asked me what I was doing there buddy what were you doing at

The devil’s Sacrament how about that but he’s still my son and I will adopt him and I will take care of him for the rest of my life it’s just that I have mixed emotions about him I feel like I’m in a love-hate relationship with my own son

Isn’t that sad not in a Demetrious way though okay I care about him I would never be rude to him he is my baby I want to lift him up and throw him into the air and watch him giggle like a child I don’t know if he can do that but

I want to find out the dwarfs little rubies I think that he Hoards them he just pulls one out of his jacket like he’s telling you ketamine I love you convincing a small child of a harmless lie because he’s my small child and I’m lying to him about what a real emo is

Okay I I know full well some Elliot stands are here because I’ve talked to some of you okay I know you however oh my God okay imagine you’re walking into a business meeting all right you’re a business major you’re a horrible person if you’re a business major sitting in a

Starbucks and this guy comes in he’s got a little ponytail on okay he’s got a ponytail and he’s got a leather-bound journal that was probably a hundred and thirty dollars the pages are not lined nor dotted they are simply blank he comes in he puts a speaker on the table

Okay and it is important that you imagine yourself as a business major here because it’s all going to come together I swear he puts his speaker on the table and he starts blasting Lana Del Rey you know when a man listens to Lana Del Rey you gotta run and then he

Takes out this pen he takes out this fountain pen he writes with a fountain pen in Starbucks and he starts writing out song lyrics and he starts singing them to the Lana Del Rey song okay over Lana’s voice and you are are just trying to talk about finances and you’re a

Horrible person okay and you think to yourself nobody can be more pretentious than me you won the man of the pretentious Year award all right and then you look over and you see him and you think God that is the most pretentious man I’ve ever seen in my

Life as a business major that is when you know you up okay he’s still riding with his fountain pen he looks over and he gnaws his head up you know like men do and he says you know Starbucks matcha tea lattes aren’t real you gotta get the good stuff you gotta

Get the real stuff that has a ton of sugar in it and then he goes back to singing his Lana Del Rey lyrics and writing them down and oh my God you have never felt more blind rage in your life HBO Max ad for another show before you

Watch the show you want to watch you know what I mean you get what I feel at this point Emily oh my God I love her so much as a weird child okay as a really weird kid I got into physical fights in kindergarten I started trying to collect

My own hair to make a hair doll out of it at age seven I was the kind of person who would try and eat plastic gems in the grocery store when they were put on little princess playsets I was and I feel very much that I identify with

Emily in that way I feel like she is the epitome of a very sweet but off-putting child okay she is so special to me she sews the most beautiful clothes she’s a tailor okay one of my favorite professions ever because I feel like tailors are the best people you walk

Into a Taylor’s house you’re gonna smell a really weird candle but it’s kind of smelling good I mean it smells a little bit earthy but it smells good and she’s gonna put a flower crown on your head and accidentally spin you into the fan and your hair is going to get caught in

The fan but you won’t even be mad about it because it’s Emily everybody grew up trying to be quirky because of the way that we were programmed as kids and she actually did it she never meant to she’s just like me for real she was the person who was drawing Sparkle dogs on

DeviantART first she was the first person to come up with that did you know that I want to know if she can read minds or not because I’m getting that vibe from her but I don’t want to assume you know that’s not something you assume about somebody I’m gonna put her in

Andrew Tate’s mugshot because I think she would also laugh at that with me I think she was one of the people who helped track him down I think she was one of the people who put a black eye in his eye socket you know I know her name

Is Evelyn I know Evelyn is the granny of the town but I always feel like I’m gonna call her Ethel I don’t know she just looks like an Ethel she is very sweet to me but I feel like she’s putting on a fake you know when you

First meet a lot of old people and they seem really sweet and then you start like talking to them and sharing your personality and start wondering if maybe they were somebody that would have thrown rocks at you in high school you remember that I feel like Evelyn is one

Of those people who would say she’s socially liberal but fiscally conservative I really want to be friends with her but I feel like if I got too close to her I’d start hating her which is my problem I don’t want to know that side of her I want to see Evelyn as that

Granny figure I really do she proposes this she wants me to feel like this towards her but she doesn’t want to know about me either it’s this Mutual distaste for each other’s actual personalities and if we keep it from afar we would be great friends you know

I bring her a cookie every once in a while I bring her a little Diamond okay I truly find it to be a beautiful relationship that we have now but I swear to God you tell me one thing that you saw on TV and I will hate you

However I have no hate for you 1am Melancholy reconnection 100 oh my God it’s George oh Lord God it’s George okay I don’t know where to begin with George because I feel like I’m wrong for some of the feelings I have toward him he is really rude and usually I kind of like

The snarky guys like him I kind of like when they’re a little bit snarky but not necessarily insulting he never insults me he’s just like he’s just done with life and I understand at that age I would be too however he is just so needlessly annoying no I’m remembering

Things now I was right the whole time didn’t he get mad at Linus didn’t he get mad at Linus for rifling through the trash all right buddy no go to hell okay you’ve got two minutes to become a better person because the Grim Reaper is coming for you and cremation earns can’t

Be returned with in him what’s all this George also he likes leaks which is weird to me why George voted for Tulsi gabbard Z Library going down I think I have to put him there just because he messed with my man Linus okay Linus is

My guy Linus is special to me Linus is my little scrungly you do not mess with lioness get right with this Earth before you leave it buddy this is Gil right his name is yo like what did you do to your parents and you came out the birth canal

That made them want to inflict that on you I’m sorry buddy I really can’t help you here though why does he exist I know he exists to be there for the Monster Hunter goals but I just feel like he’s taunting me you know I do have parental

Issues however this guy he just worsens them I feel like he is a disapproving father and then on his deathbed he’s gonna take one final breath and say that he always wished I was different and then die like that and leave me with years of therapy I feel like he is the

Father that nobody wants but everybody is inflicted with I think he’s one of those people that opposes birth control I’m gonna go with youth faster that might be fruity all dads that act like this have a repressed issue or two uh Governor okay he didn’t think my Lewis

Pants joke was funny and if you don’t think I’m funny that makes me mad so Z Library going down you laugh at my joke Grandpa himself the old owner of the farm to hand me down of all hand-me-downs the thrift store version of your dad he has more stardew Valley

Lore than anybody else because what the hell is going on here here all right what kind of afterlife exists in stardew Valley that this man is able to lay candles where did he go is he in heaven is this what heaven is why is he a ghost sometimes what’s going on with the

Religious system here I get that Yoba exists here but I kind of feel like grandpa is an amalgamation of Yoba I think that he is Yoba which leads me to believe that birdie killed him but whatever I guess it’s fine grandpa is somebody who acts as a figure of

Guidance in your life but he’s not a good one either he just leaves you to fend for yourself and then gets mad when you don’t do it correctly however he’s a he’s a catty and I love that you know I feel like grandpa is just like me I can definitely see myself

Coming from this man whether he is God or man and I think the reason that he was confined to that shitty bed is because he was too powerful for it okay Evelyn and George had to play ping pong on his ass otherwise he would Escape he has the spirit of a thousand wolves

Inside of him and he will be attacking you he has had more influence on the grass growing than the sun ever has you know this guy I think that Grandpa is very much convincing my child of a homeless lie because he would do that he invented the practice and I also think

That he’s God Gunther who I I accidentally call these two the same names I’ve been playing this game for years okay I call Gus Gunther and I call Gunther Goss constantly and it will never stop this is just Billy Ray Cyrus that’s my problem here did Billy Ray

Cyrus also escape the country singer life like the balancer did and come here to stardew Valley because that’s just Billy Ray Cyrus I don’t know is his heart a little bit Achy Breaky because mine is I wish that he would come out from behind his little area sometime you

Know I want to talk to the man but all he does is provide me with goods and services and I don’t appreciate that I want to get to know him he doesn’t have a personality because I’m scared if he starts talking he will sound like Billy

Ray Cyrus and I will find him out he is no good actor where is Miss Montana HBO Max ad for another show before the show you actually want to watch so now we have Gus who is the antithesis of Gunther actually I love this man okay

I’m so sorry that I keep getting his name wrong I love you so much Gus Gus is so important to me Gus is the Angel Batista of this entire Squad okay he is sweet he is kind he has a beautiful heart he has been lovely to every single

Person in stardew Valley he was one of the first that welcomed me in he took me into his open arms and he made me feel safe and loved and he has helped out my man Linus so he’s a friend of mine I think that he is one of those people

That lives in a small town and makes really good chili and everybody says it’s Gus’s famous chili and everybody gets really excited but he has never been married in his life and he is chronically lonely unfortunately not because nobody wants him but because he can’t let himself get close to people he

Thinks that he owes people too much to allow himself to truly be loved and that’s so sad to me convincing a small child of a harmless lie I love you I love you my son oh God here it is Haley okay Haley it’s Haley oh my God it’s

Haley Haley is the most important person in my life and the entirety of stardew Valley the most important one you’ll ever see and we are married I have married Haley in six separate save files working on a seventh okay I love Haley Haley is my my favorite I will never be

Able to go for another because she is everything I want and more and the reason I brought this up with Alex is because she is a very different type of rude she is snarky but she is not mean she will never say something misogynistic she will never say

Something about your looks and before you comment about that makeup thing I think that was a compliment I think she was saying wait you’re not wearing any makeup you look like you’re wearing makeup okay that’s what I got from her because I know her for real anyway Haley

Is sunshine to me Haley is that person that you really have to get to know to love but you appreciate her fully by getting to know her for that she is the person who will take charge and make sure that you know that you are hers now

And I love that nope let me stop talking right now I love Haley also I love blondes I really do you’re going with your sister baby girl I love you so much Haley you are everything thank you for feeding the chickens this morning I love you with my whole heart that cutscene

With the cows this woman had my heart from day one and she put it in the locket and she started putting it in resin so that I would never be able to get it back good Lord hello Harvey first of all I would like to give a shout out

To atmospheres who cosplays Harvey a lot because I’m going to be saying very rude things about Harvey and I want you all to know that I do love Atmos even though he has chosen to cosplay Harvey okay check out Atmos on Twitch all right listen I have a mistrust for doctors

Anyway I don’t like doctors I hate a doctor but this doctor in particular holy I hate this man he would say you’re taking this too hard okay I was making a joke trust me I’m a nice guy I’m nice I’m a nice guy I’m really nice okay I’ve been nothing but nice this

Whole time to you I make one bad joke he looks like a muppet first of all second of all he has been on 4chan very frequently recently and had to use Torah to access it at one point because what he was about to post is so egregious

That the cops would come to his house Harvey thinks that he is the epitome of the nicest man on Earth that he’s doing everybody a favor by being the only doctor in town okay I’d rather die trust me I would rather get sepsis and die in

My own house than be ever in his care Harvey thinks that he is the savior of the broken the beaten and the damn but I’m here to tell you that he is just a muppet in weird clothes okay thank you Z Library going down because he would say

Academics need to be paid for their work yeah they’re not getting paid 120 for their work the company is getting paid a lot of that money all right yes academics do need to be paid for their work not 120 though I’m just trying to learn hey it’s the goblin okay cool what

Am I supposed to do with this was he supposed to be one of the extras in Toy Story for the claw machine he got put out so he looks like this now so he does this now this is his life force because acting didn’t work out I love a little

Goblin I really do I love a little creature I love a little thing under the bridge but not this man he is evil he has bad intentions he didn’t show up to his daughter’s graduation because he had a football game to watch that day and he

Had bet so much money in it and fantasy football that he was about to go broke if he didn’t watch gambling addiction is a very serious and harmful thing but he’s not addicted to it he just didn’t want to see his daughter so he had to

Make up some kind of excuse for it HBO Max ad for another show before the show you want to watch absolutely what’s up with jazz jazz is a spoiled little kid but I kind of respect it you know when kids are funny when they’re rude kids are hilarious when they’re rude I like

Seeing a kid kick some ass okay I like seeing a kid call somebody a I think that’s funny and you know what I think it’s funny when she does it too especially to me I know you think that nobody’s fun to play with I know you

Don’t want to go on your two children’s school route with Penny I don’t think that sounds like a very good life so I think that you should get to be a little rude as a treat I think you should get to be a little bit of a brat As a treat

I think that’s a great idea and I hope Marnie lets you I hope she understands that you are in a predicament here there’s really nothing for a kid to do in stardew Valley it’s a farm you know what’s she gonna do draw in the dirt I’m gonna go with 1am Melancholy weekend

Action but not with her I mean with Marnie I want to ask Marnie what’s going on here okay I really do Jody okay um somebody has to say it this woman is so hot I know that she’s not the best parent to Sam but she’s also an overworked single mother and I

Understand that I think that she spends all the family money on QVC and then she hides it by saying that the money’s going to Sam’s college fund but he will never see it and you know what again she’s a single mom I will let her slide

On this I really will I think Sam’s gonna be fine I don’t even think Sam is gonna go to college okay I think that Sam will be okay Jody will not be okay unless she gets the Pyrex set from QVC okay so let her have this let her shop

Till she drops she’s one of the callers she’s been on the radio before calling her favorite radio station telling them to play Kiss because she likes kiss but she doesn’t want anyone to know that she likes kiss so she refuses to buy the albums she has to wait for them to come

On radio requests she is so hot she isn’t Haley she’s no Haley but wow youth pastor that might be fruity energy I know that’s a lowers here but I mean it kindly okay I mean it in the way that I put Abigail in that here where do we

Even begin on Kent truly where am I supposed to go here what am I supposed to do with Kent I don’t want to say anything rude about this man because I know he was off in the war but also what war what war what was going on when I

Moved to this town what war was happening I need to know was there stardew Valley 911 did that happen I’ve already been over this with Animal Crossing what was the war about is it oil what is the political stance of stardew Valley we’ve got a mayor but

What else do we have I don’t know where to stand here what was he fighting for what side was he on were we the good guys or the bad guys in this war this would determine my entire thesis about this man all right what was he doing

There did he kill any Innocents was he an innocent person killer what do we got going on here what is behind this veneer because I don’t know all I know is that if you give him a bomb it’s a horrifying experience I thought stardew Valley was peaceful so did the bouncer that’s why

He moved here he thought he would never get caught what is the war Kent anyway um HBO Max at crobus oh my God I wish Probus wasn’t at the end of the game because I feel like he is such a treasure I feel so bad for people who

Will never get to like year three or whatever it takes for them to fill up the entire Museum and won’t see him that is so sad to me he should be easily accessible because I find him to be one of the best parts of the game crowbus I

Raised him from an egg I saw him grow up I don’t know what the hell he is but he’s cute as hell and I think that crobus is a form of poetry I think that he is the silence that you can befriend I think that crobus is the last breath

Before falling asleep that you will love and cherish for the rest of your life and then you go silent he is a connection to a world we do not know about and he shops at Kroger somehow he’s been able to find coupons where are you finding them crobus not that I’ve

Been to a Kroger in a little while I don’t have one near me but when I did used to shop at Kroger they stopped using coupons and it pissed me off what’s that about you hate me you want me to die a top-tier baby my top tier

Son okay he Blends in with the abyss and he will shine any light straight through him he is a beautiful representation of everything that I love about the Earth Leah baby girl I love you I love you so much oh my God my woodworker I love a

Granola lesbian I really do and we all know she’s gay okay you don’t need to give me any of that all right Leah is the gayest possible stardew Valley character and I mean that every time I see one of her sculptures every time I see her walking around I am just in awe

Of her not even in a romantic way I’m just in awe that she exists she seems like the Greek goddess Athena I think that we should form a new religion around this woman also she’s kind of a petty I just wish she didn’t hang around with Elliot my theory is that she

Wants to put Ellie get in a jar and like shake them around until he becomes one with the soil and she can make a terrarium out of him that’s all I got convincing a small child of a harmless lie and that harmless lie is that Leah

Is not God but it isn’t harmless okay Leah is God oh what’s going on hold on this is my second day of trying to record this to your list a because it’s one of the longest raw footage videos I’ve ever filmed and B I had a crisis

Yesterday which means the rest of this tier list is going to be quite Punchy I hope you’re excited Leo is another Ginger Island character I think I’m pretty sure why would I say I think when I’m 100 sure about that just another one of God’s Little tests for me I fear Leo

Is like a bird that you adopt from the pet store that’s kind of a little too human-like he reminds me of the same kind of terrifying Vibe like you know your parents gonna repeat a social security number to you one day and then you’re gonna have to deal with that but

I think Leo’s on the opposite Spectrum you know he wasn’t adopted by humans he was a human adopted by birds so now he’s got that bird-like charm to him and I think that’s gonna do quite well I think a bird like charm is exactly what you

Need to get into art school so I think he would be a good artist you know he’s got so much heart and intelligence in him he’s great he’s just a little guy he would truly go in the channel I made in one of my Discord servers with my

Friends it’s called little guys I made a channel just for little guys sometimes little guys in that channel are 40 year old men this guy’s fantastic I love him I think he’s going to grow up into such a up little human being I mean his mother didn’t raise a quitter but

She sure did raise a little guy so I’m excited for him I’m excited to see what kind of hard rock metal he puts out after he finds out that he was adopted this feels mean I might put him in there anyway convincing a small child of a

Harmless lie I’m sorry Leo I’m sorry I don’t think any lies that you were told were harmless but you know what buddy it’s the right tier for you I hate to say it why do they keep showing me these men I don’t understand I’m really quite

Pissed off about it I thought this tier list was Lewis exclusionary I thought I could put Lewis in here and never have to see him again really I wish I could I wish that I could put Lewis on a boat and go to bed sleeping well at night

Knowing full well that it was a full-scale reproduction of the Titanic in the way that it sinks as well I know we don’t have the icebergs for that anymore due to climate change but I’ll make one from scratch maybe out of fiberglass I think that’ll hit a lot

Better her Lewis is the Jeff Bezos of stardew Valley and I don’t mean because he’s rich I mean because he doesn’t give a about anybody I mean he would sell a dog to a dog killing Factory just for a couple bucks how has this man ran unopposed on stardevalley.gov I don’t

Understand he’s got the personality of a Saltine cracker coated in concrete I can’t do this anymore if he were to die and we were to have a funeral he would have to be buried at Sea so nobody could come and set his body on fire this guy

Has ruined So Many Lives I feel it even my grandpa even this man even God hates him Lewis is the Antichrist Z Library going down 100 Linus my baby lioness is everything to me okay I’ve been defending him this whole time just leading up to this because I am ready to

Shell out everything for this man okay Linus is the only person who would be able to Puppeteer Big Bird after Carol spinny died okay the rest of you you’re all great but I feel like you could turn on me lioness however we’ve both been in the trenches before we understand what

It’s like we are one and the same me and Linus we exist on the same plane I feel a deep intense connection to him and I feel like Linus is the only person that I will ever be able to truly put my faith in Linus has taken over the Earth

Kind of like remember after Sharon Noble when all of the animals came back in and recovered it this is what Lina says to me he’s one of those animals he might have a little radiation in him but he’s doing great he hasn’t grown a third eye

Yet so I don’t care I think that Linus is the only Beacon of sunshine in the deep dark winter nights of stardew Valley okay he is the only person that we can see a true goodness and he is without sin he has not been corrupted yet I think Linus is some kind of

Journey Ivan this is a representation of a journey through life I feel like Linus is not a person but a concept Linus is the heart of this town and I will die on this hill okay Linus means the world to me where would you be without that feeling of comfort and safety that

Brings you home every single day because of blindness and you should be thanking him for that he is also probably kin with a squirrel I feel like he has very squirrel-like tendencies in his brain that is a compliment I think that he has the brain power and the Moxie to store

Up some nuts you know what I mean I think he is the epitome of a feeling that you cannot describe otherwise thank you very much Linus Andrew Tate’s mugshot killed Andrew Tate himself what is his name Marlon Marlin I love that Marlon is right next to Marnie

Because I know full well they’re having a fling outside of Lewis’s grasp and I’m proud of her for that he will never stop getting to you he will slowly burrow inside of your brain Like A Parasite and start munching on it he is not a leech

But a round worm and he will be making you up okay he’s gonna give you a disease Marlon on the other hand I wish I knew more about him what is his eye patch from who did that to him why does he have cool hair I want that hair I

Think that hair is really cool he is so weird he’s so odd I wish I knew more about him he seems very kind when he picks me up in the minds but also don’t pick me up in the minds I can handle myself I want to wake up surrounded in

Blood and barely survive okay don’t take me out of there I’m doing something I didn’t ask for that he’s always like oh we lost your stuff no you just didn’t want to pick it up okay I didn’t ask for you to be here but I’m glad that he’s

Taking care of Marnie even if it is on the side again I don’t condone that I don’t support that however it is Lewis so we do have to keep that in mind here when we’re sentencing Marnie sometimes she’s a player alright sometimes she is and we have to deal with that but Marlon

I guess he’s fine I really do I guess he’s fine that is all I can get from him at least he gets my bombs back from the caves I appreciate that but other than that he has no flavor he has no grasp of reality on him he’s just sitting there

In his little cage I think that he can only exist in one state and if he tries to move he glitches out of reality youth pastor who might be fruity that’s the kind of vibe I’m getting from him very one-dimensional but also two-dimensional you just can’t see the other side of him

You know what I mean Marnie here we are finally okay hi Miss cheater welcome home cheater I don’t appreciate it I think that you need to somehow kill Lewis I think that’s our only option here I’ll help you okay you’re not going into this alone Marnie I can help you

Get rid of Lewis I’m fine with that I want him gone okay I have a vendetta against this man and I like Revenge I want to take his goal cut it in half and make it into a cup that I can put soup in but Marnie Marnie dear Marnie Marnie

My baby my wonderful little girl I just have to explain something to you okay I cannot be kind to you for much longer because we have to go over or something here and we all know what I’m about to say you are never in your goddamn shop

And my animals are starving all right I do not prepare for the winter I’m not some kind of bear I don’t know how to hibernate I live every day like it’s my last you think I’m gonna stock up no I need to buy hay for my animals you sold

Me those exact children and you’re gonna let them die you’re gonna let them starve out there you’re gonna let them suffer and wither away to Bone that’s sickening don’t do that to me how do you even make any money to stay alive you’ve never been in that shop before I come in

I’m ready to give you my multi-million dollars you say pray to the Lord for rain and I do I get on my knees and I pray to the Lord for rain and all you give me is fire from the sky don’t you have any remorse for what you do don’t

You have any remorse left in your heart for what you do to these poor animals and to me and to my farm I don’t think you do and that might be why you’re able to be with Lewis because I cannot see you being emotional and being able to

Attach to him I think that would kill you Marnie has no grip on the human psyche I’m convinced of it I really don’t understand any other way that we could explain this okay HBO Max ad for another show before the show you want to watch I’m sorry I hate this

I do I love her I have some things that I love about her I think she’s a girl boss I think she’s taking advantage of Lewis which I appreciate but not this okay not this Maru hi baby girl I love Maro she is so cute I think she has one

Of the cutest character designs in stardew I love her purple aesthetic I feel like the colors work so well on her like her hair oh my God I have so much sympathy for Maru because because she had to deal with whoever her mother is and the divorce and all that whatever

Happened with Demetrius in his past life but also she’s had to deal with just being demetrius’s daughter and I’m really sorry about that I love her little sciency I think that’s adorable I love seeing her build her little robots you ever seen that cut scene that’s so important to me I hope

That she gets a job at Nasa I feel like she’s a great friend she’s so cute I think that her and Penny are in a relationship I really do they sit there and they read their little books together and they talk I think that they’re in love I think that her and

Penny have such a common ground of Education I think that they are going to Take On The World Together I think they’re going to blast off in a rocket ship up and accidentally go down and die but that’s okay because we will remember them yes we will and they will have died

Doing what they both love okay educating because that is going to provoke a huge discovery about the solar system but while we have these two girls well we have these two girls here convincing a small child of a harmless lie because I think she would find out some kind of

Horrific Discovery and a kid like Joss would ask her about it and she would tell them a lie to keep them safe because she’s that nice of a cutie okay Morris okay here’s the thing I hate this man he’s so annoying but also I don’t hate JoJo quite as much as I wish

I did just because I hate Pierre okay I hate their entire message I do hate Pierre I don’t think there’s a good side of this I don’t think there’s a good side to go on I don’t think Pierre’s side is good I think JoJo’s side is

Worse but I truly do not like that other man so Morris I understand why you have a vendetta out for him but you cannot do it this way you cannot do it Amazon style I think you should just Rob his store that’s a lot better if you hate

Pierre that much just Rob his store I will come with you oh clear certainly but also giant corporations corporations that take advantage of their workers make them work in horrible conditions don’t give the correct breaks break a lot of labor laws don’t pay taxes those big corporations and Morris you’re a part of

That you are perpetuating that however he also just looks stupid I’m sorry those are the stupidest glasses I’ve ever seen what are you looking at you know it’s obviously not I don’t understand what’s going on here you if he was a clown his name would be PP

The clown I don’t know what kind of insult that was that wasn’t a drag but I feel it deep in my heart like I didn’t mean it as a ooh that’s a good drag I meant it as this is something I feel you know this is something I feel inside of

Me Z Library going down I guess I don’t know Morris I hate you get a life Mr key now of course Mr key is involved with the balancer here in my little backstory but I’m gonna still be giving Mr key his own ranking because I don’t fully

Involve him in this story you know he’s the ending point but he’s his own person Mr key baffles me first of all why is this man blue it makes me think that he’s related to Grandpa in some way and he may be his own part of the god system

His own part of the belief system however he’s also just a Sharky little guy I feel like he’d work in Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory but he’s above Willy Wonka and Willy Wonka’s just his puppet I want his hat I want his hat and cloak those two things I’m sorry

They do those are gorgeous all right Mr key you kind of look stylish you kind of look good I won’t lie to you this guy has kissed Giorgio Armani Mr key is like the owner of 60 gay nightclubs and he gets so much money and yet he never

Visits he never visits them because he’s scared of his own creation Mr Kiko out there what is he doing out here you know it’s very curious to me he has to be some kind of horrific Eldritch being because there’s no other explanation there’s no other explanation why he

Would be so fascinated with me too like what what do you why why do you like me so much I think that he is a trickster he’s a jokester he’s a clown he’s a Jaster and you know what buddy keep that away from me I’m the only clown

Here this clown Town ain’t big enough for the both of us you got it buddy this is my job this is my house I’m gonna go with 1am Melancholy reconnection I don’t know I like this man I really do I think he’s fascinating I think he’s a

Fascinating study I want to take a bit of his skin off and put it under a microscope and see if anything crawls on it you know I think he might be the same thing they make that really clear iridescent glitter out of hmm hi Pam I wish that I could give this

Woman a good ranking I wish she had a heart that I uncovered but I truly have not found it I’ve been digging through her bones and I have not found all I found was liver disease and you know what I can respect that I just don’t understand what is going on here I

Really don’t where is she getting the money from because it’s obviously not penny where is she getting the money to keep this up from I think that she runs an online gambling scheme that would be my vibe I get a lot of online gambling scheme vibes from her throwing out money

And bargain out orders she’s like get me another cigarette and 20 stacks of ones baby make it quick make it snappy I’ve only got a couple years left you know her back in the day she used to be a scammer okay she would scam men constantly and when one day she kind of

Got a little bit too into that alcohol she found the other way she knew she started making these beautiful gambling rooms she started making these beautiful poker tables and she converted it to an online format with the help of Morris I believe that these two are in cahoots as

Well I believe that Morris helped her because he helps run the JoJo art web right so now they’re in Partnership but I think at some point Pam is going to murder him and take his money and frame him for this and then eventually Escape having no longer been associated with

The gambling thing and live her life in retirement HBO Max ad for another show before the show you want to watch I think definitely Penny you know okay I love her for her little relationship with Maru I love that she takes care of the kids but this woman rubs me the

Wrong way I will not lie to you she has such a weird place in my mind she lives in the abscesses of an old abandoned theme park in my brain penny has such a Sweet Disposition to her and I know that she’s not hiding anything which makes

Her very boring to me you know I want somebody with a secret I want somebody with some fun spooky Vibes to her and all she has is this repetitive life and you try to help her you try to get her out of it but she will never leave it

She’s stuck in this time Loop of wanting more but never looking out for it you know I’m the kind of person who likes to take risks and she just doesn’t and we don’t get along for that reason although I do think that penny is doing good work

At the school I will support her in any way way possible I just don’t think we’re ever going to match personality wise I think that she is far too I think her answer in the trolley problem is to kill five people so she doesn’t have to

Make the decision you know what I mean you know that kind of person I’m gonna go with youth pastor who might be fruity because she is fruity and she does give off extreme youth faster Vibes a hundred percent do we have to talk about Pierre

I could have not made this video to be clear with you I could have not made this video because I knew I was going to be hateful like I just have bloodlust for this man I have so much violence in my heart for this man okay what the hell

Does he think he’s doing he has on this certain mask he thinks he’s getting away with it perfectly he thinks everybody in the town is in love with him he thinks everybody in the town is going to fall on their knees and starts talking okay I don’t understand I don’t get this I

Don’t get this life that he thinks he’s leading who does he think he is why does he think that he’s loved why does he think he has some kind of hold on this town because he’s the only non-jo Jamar option I don’t care I will fish my fish

Out of the sea I will get my mixed seeds from the goddamn dirt you’ve been a horrible father to Abigail you’ve been a horrible husband I think that you have not been paying attention to anybody in your family for years I think you’ve let them rot I think you built

That church so you could seal them away in there and pretend that you’re giving them to God God does not listen to you Pierre Pierre’s ego is far bigger than he can carry and one day it will weigh him down when he is trying to run away I

Think that Pierre has a lifetime of Hell coming for him and it will be me who straps him down to the table and finally gets him gone okay Z Library you Pierre all these men what is his name what’s this man’s name he looks like a bug

Is it really God damn you look so sad birthday unknown this poor okay cool again I also did this man’s Quest I’ve completed all of Ginger Island including getting all the walnuts okay I know these people do I remember their names no this is really interesting he

Is a professor snail certainly this man is a snail I don’t know how else to say that to you he’s got them snail eyes I just feel like he would be a character that would be introduced to the Big Bang Theory where they think that they’re going to appeal to a broader audience

With him but everybody just hates him and I hate the Big Bang Theory okay if they showed me this guy I would hate it more I don’t hate him in the game all right I really don’t I think this is a fun little guy I think he is just a fun

Little creature I think he’s small I think he could kick him around like a softball I feel like this man is a very odd example of somebody that I would hate in theory but don’t hate he’s got such a snively like stuck-up look to him

But he also just seems so frail I don’t want to hurt him he’s frail he looks like he would say please please I haven’t been outside in years please please I haven’t seen the sunlight in years and my bones are deteriorating you cannot kick me I will die I haven’t had

The Sweet Taste of pasta in my mouth since 1989 you know what the is he doing what is he doing out here God he’s so sad can I do something for you I feel the need to help him even though I don’t really like him I just feel like he

Needs somebody somebody needs to help him um no no he’s just trying to get to me I’m gonna put him in 1am Melancholy reconnection I don’t know why he’s up so high I just I feel awful okay this is really deteriorating me holy I feel like they’re gonna crucify him I feel

Like they’re gonna put him on the cross and nail him to it if I don’t do something here Robin we’ve all thought about it man okay we’ve thought about breaking up marriages everybody who is into women in this game has okay Robin they didn’t make her dateable for what

They didn’t make this woman dateable for what I don’t understand I don’t get this I don’t understand why we’ve been deprived of Robin because she is so why does Demetrius get to have this woman I don’t understand this is very twisted look at this woman okay

I want her God I think everybody agrees with this I really do I think everybody is a little bit attracted to Rob and stardew Valley something about a woman who looks like she has a scar on her stomach from a bear is so this is so

gay I hate this I hate this look at her look at her don’t tell me that you wouldn’t come out to your parents immediately if this woman so much has stared at you I’m sorry Jesus anyway Hi Sam Sam is my son okay I raised Sam Sam

Is my son this man is my son look at his stupid haircut you know what kind of parent would allow him to have that stupid haircut me as a dumbass haircut I’m proud of him alright he is one of the sweetest people in stardew Valley

Truly I believe that he is so kind he is so sweet from the get-go he is a great employee at the library this is the model man I hope that he does great with Sebastian if that’s who he wants to go for if he wants to go for Abigail or

Anybody I don’t care he’s gonna get a little bachelor degree in architecture I think he looks like he volunteers to help clean up beaches and stuff this is the model citizen of stardew Valley he is such a sweetheart he is literally such a sweetheart but I do feel like he

Is a child I could not see people marrying Sam because this is an infant to me I care for him I want to make him dinner I want to make him some soup and I want to send him home to go study he’s never done anything wrong in his life

And that concerns me so uh Sam I’m gonna go ahead and put you in convincing a small child of a harmless lie I think you’re an adorable little guy I’ll protect you with my life that’s my son Sandy I’m about to go while Robin again holy I know her and Emily are

like they totally brought in the desert and they were like okay you know what we’re gonna do you know what me concerned Abe the developer of this game is gonna do we are going to make a woman that is so insanely radiant she looks

Like she would be a Greek goddess she is Hera she is Persephone of the underworld okay I don’t know what to say about her other than this woman is not of this Earth she is stunning she looks like she was carved out of marble baby that’s

Sand D that is a Sandy special you’re only going to get it from Sandy she digs up gems from beneath the ground where there were certainly no Jones she just makes them with her hands she doesn’t think she’s doing it but every time she sticks her hand in the sand a gem comes

Out of it this woman invented the air fryer there is no way that you can make an air fryer and not be full of yourself but she is she doesn’t understand her power Sandy thank you for the air fryer that was a great invention Andrew Tate’s

Mugshot I’m in love with you Sebastian I relate to Sebastian he’s the only other emo in this town this guy Saw My Chemical Romance when they were on the Black Parade tour he snuck out of his house to do it Robin thought he was missing for six days and he was just in

Baltimore I really don’t know if they went to Baltimore but I feel like that’s the most likely place for him to be I see why you would really like Sebastian because I think that we are good friends I think that me and Sebastian get along quite well he’s quite closed off at the

Beginning I just hate when his ass doesn’t come out for three days when you’re trying to start a new save file where are you and I’m so sorry I cannot sleep I cannot dream tonight I know you know that song come out a little I

Miss you I miss you this guy’s a great friend though I love him I love his affinity for frogs I love the way that we can play on the computer together he’s got two little computers I want to come in and I want to hang out with him

And I want to watch Rocky Horror Picture Show in his home with him Sebastian I love you I think you’re great I think you are a great spouse to my friends I think you’re fun I think you’re adorable I hope that you are living your life the

Best way possible and I hope that you’re able to go to the reunion tour for MCR I appreciate you I’m gonna put him in convincing a small child of a heartless lie he would Shane okay I am not the I can fix some type okay I’m not gonna do

however I respect Shane from a distance you know what I understand what it’s like to be going through it I understand where he’s coming from I like that he gives you blue chickens I think that’s fun I’m a chicken I love chickens I think that it’s worth getting

To know Shane absolutely 100 I think that he’s a good friend to have I just don’t understand why so many people make his problems their problem go to the Pelican Town therapist I am asking you to take care of yourself because if you don’t want to get better I cannot help

You I cannot help you with buddy I’m sorry but I do like being his friend even though sometimes times it is a little bit hard you know I like seeing them get better and I also do like how concerned I betrayed mental illness I won’t lie to you I think that was very

Good he’s not for me he’s a good friend I like his chickens also please be better to Joss she is very weird and she needs help Shane is an easy one for me Shane is 1am melancholy connection along with jazz like I think that we would be

Friends that would catch up later on and I would be really glad for him I would be glad that he got better you know oh I don’t like him Vincent is that his name it’s Vincent right I swear I’m not looking this up because I need to know

His name I know his name is Vincent however I just need to find this specific screenshot of him from one of his hard events where’s the picture thank you so much flipsy I hope I said your name right for uploading this spring onion why do his hands look like

That that’s all I got HBO max out just because of the hands I think they’re very weird Willie oh my God Willy I love Willie okay Willie does not get the appreciation he deserves I would love to go out on that can smoke a cigarette

With him at 10 am okay he gives you your first fishing pole for free after being gone forever just because he loves fishing so much he’s passionate this guy is passionate about his work I think that he is such a kind beautiful little soul I think that he has such a

Sprightly attitude to him okay Willie is going to be your grandpa way more than George ever will way more than anybody else will ever take care of you okay this guy he is fantastic I love you sweet angel boy okay this is the 40 year old man in the little guy’s Channel I

Feel like he’s one of those people that you’d be able to share anything with and he wouldn’t judge you like he’s been through it in his life Willie will show you the light but he will show you the dark as well he will not shy away from

His past but he will also not mention it to you he is truly the most open book you could possibly get to and he will give you all of his advice he has committed so much tax fraud but it’s okay it’s okay this time okay Willie is

Left off the hook you see what I did there see the hook I’m so tired Willie is like the lily of the valley in Animal Crossing something that would show up when you know you’re doing good Willie is going to be your guide I hope that he

Feels happy and healthy and exciting and he has a beautiful ending to his story okay Willie you are my sunshine my only sunshine convincing a small child of a harmless lie a hundred percent I love him he is perfect to me I feel like the

Wizard I’m gonna go all in on the wizard okay first of all you knew that Caroline was vulnerable because of her weird-ass husband who you don’t like you have not been parenting her child that you gave her Mr rasmodius you have not even contributed to the community center at

All even though you know what’s going on I know full well you do you have an ex-wife who is flying on a broomstick now because of your ass you are weird you are weird I don’t know why everybody is in love with you because nobody has

Seen the true you I guess I just see a low-life deadbeat father I see a horrible ex-husband I see a man who has not paid alimony in years the junior most probably don’t like his ass either I don’t think they like his ass I feel like I recall that maybe I’m recalling

It wrong but I feel like they don’t like him and you know what they’re right for that what is he doing why does he have to lock himself away is it because nobody likes him is it because nobody’s giving him the respect that he thinks he deserves because he’s this powerful

Wizard who can talk to the junamos is it because nobody’s Yelling At His Feet licking his boots no no it’s not going to be me either buddy okay once you decide to be a decent human being maybe somebody will give you the respect that you are looking for but until then you

Don’t get excuses to stay away from your dad and husband duties just because you can do a little magic I don’t think so yeah he’s looking down at the ground he won’t look me in the eye because he knows what he did you rasmodius get some help youth pastor who might be

Fruity though because he has my access to the junamos and they are my children that is every stardew Valley character ranked I’m sorry that this video is probably extremely long I don’t know what to say about that I have a lot of things to say thank you for watching it

I appreciate all of you guys who stick around for the stardew valley and other game content even when you only subscribe for the Animal Crossing content and if you’re new here I do stardew Valley sometimes but I mostly do Animal Crossing however I’m just just rude when I play Animal Crossing so

Maybe you’ll like it thank you for watching this video stay safe stay wonderful thank you to all of my beautiful members remember you are so loved you are so cool and this is a safe space always I’ll see you next time goodbye Foreign

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Thank you Flibse for the footage!

ATMOS: https://m.twitch.tv/atmos_fierce

VIKKI:
@vikkixvantula