The Cooler Stardew Valley

The Cooler Stardew Valley

Hello children uh oh sorry I caught the interdimensional flow rough stuff anyways stardew Valley just became 8 years old this week it sold 30 million copies spawned a massive fall a concert going around the world and most relevant to us started a Renaissance of farming games that is still going strong with so

Many of these games around it begs the question are there any better than our golden child or even just worthy siblings to answer that question I have decided to try out all farminglife Sims from 2023 and find the best among them I’ll spend 10 days with each game report

My finance and move on I want to spend longer with them but I cannot justify the time commitment if this bombs like H week long projects well enough of that you read the title so you have an idea of what our first game is going to be

Subscribe to not miss the next videos in this series also like pretty please and comment your favorite joke cuz that makes me happy inspir Ed by Humanity this game is a work of fiction designed to evoke the feeling of human prehistory and sparked your curiosity in this hypothetical setting the depictions in

This game are not intended to represent any specific culture geography or time period wait didn’t you just say it was supposed to represent the feeling of human prehistory so you do have a specific time period in mind come on game it’s the first scam don’t contradict yourself oh look at the

Bison a a they’re all so cute to remember that inevitably when a Predator attacks they’re all just going to abandon one or more of these Cals they’re deaf we start the game as always with the Character Creator which has a healthy if limited amount of options I

Always find it funny when you put beards into pixelart characters because they always look so cute and then you give them like a beard and it kind of looks like a baby with a beard it’s kind of cute hairstyles have a nice enough spread of different textures for different kinds of folk but

When it comes to gloin we are quite limited the same is true for everan Scholars I personally prefer when games give you a Color Picker so that you may choose a precise color yourself but our options are fine enough I guess not sure of the game lets you get different

Attires later on but still you also have some face paintings which you know is appropriate for the era ah yes the free human body types strong boobs and Twink now seriousness it’s not the entire spectrum of human bodies but it is more care than the subject is usually given

So I’ll take it still consider this say I’m CLA Max or carac for them matter I couldn’t choose this body type even though it’s strong because my nipple would be out maybe this is their way of saying # fre nipple which Fair anyways so I can’t exactly recreate my own

Avatar I don’t know what they have against great people but the options do remind me of something and have given me a nice idea oh we’re going to go for the skull face painting come on what the okay now we look like a wrestler since

We kind of look like a wrestler we need an appropriate name the dope flying sea there you go that’s my wrestler name we’re like a highflying character you know like great Mysterio took 8 minutes to do that character creators with me oh God the game begins during the new year

As our tribe returns from the mountaintops and we get a bit of backstory on our character was apparently taken in by the tribe after being found alone IG gr we’re going to get caveman names I love it it’s hard to believe your right of passages so soon

It still feels like we found you only yesterday lying on that puddle of piss and blood scream about how you had to kill kill kill bruh I’m no way his name is brah come on bro we then transition to the children asking tff an elder to tell them the

Story about how they arrived here in this new place that they are settling all right just one more you little God damn it too for this garbage which is weird since the trip only took a year so the children know how they got here but then again they

Are children which means they are weird and ask for weird things and that’s what is this not just an excuse for awkward diagetic Exposition the tribe needed to know when to hold the next right of passage so voak the shaman as the spirits and they told him to travel east

Because reasons reasons being danger vaguely no normal person should ever question the spirits but arok is no normal person he’s hella weird he thinks the is black can you believe that guy which is why he’s no longer with us we’ve stoned him to death this gave our

Leader a difficult dilemma do we travel into unknown lands risked obeying the spirits but there was one thing we could always depend on the clan no money he bried the spirits so travois the clan did for an entire year and they found nothing until our shavan is strong but

Not infallible could he have made a mistake as we were making Camp the AR shuck sorry that cricken was a special effects was just my bones let me sit down again the way we had come was blocked and winter was too close to go back then the Clan did what it did

Best we worked together no we fought and Only the Strong survived vak walked away from the group and died Noti in his absence the Noti in his absence the dop flying sea followed in into a nearby Forest that’s me hey or Shaman was distraught how could he make everyone

Leave their homes only to be trapped in a Strange Land but then they saw it and so they found the giant batcha tree the secret type of tree that they needed for the right of passage we were home I was so focused on breing and doing the voices that I did not pay

Attention to this story at all we then began our first day and the first day of the year sup Good Year up it’s finally spring oh I wish it’s summer here and I’m melting so we live with our surrogate adoptive parents an old man and his sister no it’s not like that oh

God I’m familiar with that sight thing is the old man is bad instead of moving from place to place foraging like a normal caveman he thinks we can plant things and grow them ourselves they just need a little clearing a little elbow grease a little you do the work and I

Watch crazy dude I know still we ought to help out since he is found family and the IND has taught me that that is the most important thing in the world I wish I could be out there with you but my bones aren’t what they used to be you

Know I drink too much coke and now they’re all freaking weird and soft I’m sure you’ll find a way to help rig work you always do because if you didn’t we would throw you out the mountain cuz that’s what we do to use as people in

The tribe so our first job is to find some seeds as always with these games the first day is all about the basics of farming and getting to know people so that’s what the Duba do we meet the locals and Forge some and Scattered about I offered a flower like this one

For my right of passage so long Ago oh it’s going to be special I can feel it in my quickly old bones pick okay she gave me a flower I could just find nearby yeah thanks Grandma we can get seeds by interacting with certain plants that are always in the map when you collect their seeds they go back to

Being small and will take some time to grow until you can harvest seeds again now the tribe is your average Community we have Sprite kids I don’t see why I can’t and have my right of message with you I do a lot of work around here sucker you’re doing work and you’re a

Kid what an idiot wrinkly Elders AAR told me about his plan for the fuds I got something from these plants thank you AA now I don’t have to do any work other young adults like us will also be participating in the right of passage tomorrow and the local furry lesbians

You know your average Community whenever you meet someone the game offers these little pop-ups that give you context on who the person you are talking to is the relationships to other members of the tribe and what their job is and I really like that cuz it kind of helps with that

Initial overwhelming amount of information that happens to you when you first start this games up that’s a grandmother and the person keeps track of the weather I keep track of the weather because when it’s about to rain my knees hurt my right knee hurts oh I knew it that always means right is

Nearby having core information being displayed like that helps you make sense of things easily and Mak sense of initial text blurs of the villagers that reference other villagers or the relationships where does time go good question I suppose it goes to the time hole and you can disable these pop-ups

Too if you want if you prefer to puzzle your way around and you can ask people to dance ah okay new Mission acquired Let’s Dance want to dance why does why does everybody give me that look come on dance with me please God this is just like prom oh I

Can’t I can dance along see I don’t need your to have fun I can do it alone Come On Let’s Get Down come on everybody check me out I’m dancing I’m dancing oh God no it is just like Brom we can’t find anyone who wants to dance with us

But we do find tet who wants to play a game with us want to try your hand that bones my wickly all bones you know what I mean why are you running away sure I’m always down to Bone and if we win we get a chest but we keep losing the game

Because although she explains it in Universe the game doesn’t explain play the mini game itself hey what what is what I am so confused what do I just have to hit the timing what is this thing on the front please explain to me better game okay let’s try it again okay

I have no idea how that works so I move on for now I will be back here Betty B and when I do I’ll give you the Bon of a lifetime not like that a you get P the do doesn’t seem to trust is enough us who

Is that do I have somebody oh it’s the voice in my brain sorry I forgot dark arge yes this game actually has a really nice map which shows the location of every villager so you don’t have to search around for them or decorate their goddamn routines like a certain very

Popular and successful and really good other inie farming game as we walk about we also learn about the other mini games and activities and systems that the game has to offer things like contributions fishing cooking foraging Etc I think the best part of a game that takes a tried

And true concept and puts it into an interesting setting is how they can adapt or create new mechanics to fits it setting so this being a Pre-commercial for your work well the answer is you can contribute to the community by donating item to community chest near Center of village for every item you contribute to the cause gbre you gain contribution points D every item has value that determines how many points you get for selling I mean contributing

This is nothing like capitalism no this is in Social credit either shut it contributing increases communal Prosperity which is amount of contribution points you and other villagers have gathered in total d That’s Right ORD there to help increase prosper it as they also contribute to community much like yourself so

Prosperity increases every day and it exess a requirement towards you being able to unlock new things and stuff in other V rewards but the true reward my friend is servicing the community and your fellow man your fellow proletariat and if you don’t think so to

The good Lu with you fishing to fish you have to hover your mouths over your prospective dinner and wait for the bar to feel before you can snatch C it technically you can try to catch the fish at any time you want but the Fuller

The bar is the more likely you are to succeed also you need to move your cursor away when the fish gets his alert above its head because that means he’s seeing you and he’s about to get the out of here it’s honestly finicky and doesn’t feel great you have to keep your

Mouth exactly in the middle of the fish not just inside the silhouette so it gets really annoying when you slightly get off center as you try to keep up with it when it comes to cooking that’s very simple you just have to have the right ingredients with you and you are

Golden just click on the mysterious recipe watch one of the varied animations which are very cute and get a nice Instagram worthy picture of your meal I guess cave gram actually I should have put the joke instead of Instagram but I would you even recognize I was

Trying to reference Instagram I am very good at comedy I hope you appreciate me for it uh cooking things is useful for Buffs and as gifts in the late game or so I’m told by the Wikia I didn’t get that far into the game again this is

Just 10 days so I don’t know also some recipes can at you a bit more contribution than individual ingredients would but again going by the wiki it doesn’t seem very consistent so don’t use it for that I guess after learning all these systems and mechanics I return

For my Revenge come on you old bat you’ve seen nothing Yet don’t understand Den woman what is going on so I devise a brilliant ttic to unlock this puzzle a genius meantion a strategy to be remembered for centuries to come that is to say I press the only buttons I’ve been pressing so far WD oh I know I’m kind of a genius myself

Ha ha haa um I’m smart I’m big brain I’m big smart essentially you are using movement keys to get the main Rock to the other rocks so you can clear them all out before the time Runs Out F go go go go impressive I’m sure you put

This box to your good use okay got it thanks figure it out you got to press the buttons to get to the places hey with the challenge beat and a stone chest one I do the classic farming scene thing and use the remainder of my energy

To work on the farm and clean it up all right well you f l about I’m going to go work cuz I’m a productive member of this tribe do you hear me productive just because there’s a holiday festival tomorrow doesn’t mean it’s a holiday today you bunch of layabouts you know we

Used to be a real cave Society piss piss piss piss piss and that concludes our first day the second day starts with a Festival event which is pretty great since C let has got a feel for how these are handled here the first few hours of

These games really need to sell you on the idea of a yearslong playthrough and letting you glimpse of this kind of stuff early on is key the event is the aention right of passage the whole reason we came to this place oh God he

Looked scary as Fu he’s like H oh my God he looks like those guys from Viva Pinata wait Viva Pinata is technically a farming sin right should I play that us and the other young peeps in the tribe are going to be ref in something special to us something that represents

Who we are and want to be something that speaks deeply to our dreams and goals Ian contributes a dear herling that has been with her for a long time and that she deeply loves and then this guy contributes a fish after said iten is buried the person receives a blessing

From the totem when our time comes we can choose what to bury which will grant us a buff to whatever activity represents a flower that blooms like a dish that gives us stamina for our day I do like increase my stamina a lot but H I like friendship too it’s not

Specified but to me it is the flower our old woman gave us and the totem that gives us this blessing is super duper special because it is the secred pcha tree we are special boys which is leagues above all our peers other dumbass totens okay they’re all like

Lame and stuff like a lion whatever who cares plants are way cooler they like stand there all stoic like it’s Fu dope yeah piece of and then we’re free to interact with everyone else at the festival yay wait I can this not sure I like that pcha has more

Plans for our clan no I know what you mean the attention of the Gods is a thing best avoided I more of a fighter my little Go’s in the dop now I have some dust in my eye life shouldn’t be taken too seriously I agree and I’m not just

Saying that because I’ve been severely overstressed because of work and the fact that I’m workaholic and that’s part of the reason why I’m playing these games in the first place noara is the thinker of the clan he’s usually contemplating how things work so he’s useless hypothetically

Which would make a better leader a Boral horse in what way uh a horse Boris are famous for kind of sometimes you know going a bit wild right I feel like a horse makes more it’s also a community animal that’s why horses can be tames because they’ve got strong social bonds

So a lead and a leader needs that so I feel like a horse exactly a leader needs to move fast and look out for the group sure the speed is the thing that makes a good leader and that’s why America has such bad leaders I mean can you see any

Of those guys being able to run a marathon I didn’t fall into the hole I consider today a successful mood with our socializing done we can continue with the rest of our day but instead of returning to the Village we explored this new section of the map that has

Opened with this event wait this is prehistory why are we using the the name of the north gods to determine weekdays that makes no sense this area is the forest home to a bunch of items we can forage mushrooms and new seeds and animals we’ll be able be friend later oh

I can rename IEX dumbass sorry that shouldn’t be more respectful dumex but foraging quickly becomes a pain for today we Face an annoying inventory fall that’s right it’s time to deal with everyone’s favorite part of fingon inventory management my inventory is filled with as is tradition with

These kinds of games that give you a thousand different types of vems that you can collect by just walking around so we have to go all the way back to the Village plop down the chest we got store our stuff then go all the way back to

The forest and collect the items we left behind granted roots of patcha does something very smart that I haven’t seen before and I think all other games like it should do which is make all of your equipment not occupy space in your inventory your equipment is in this

Pocket space that is separate from your inventory which is such a smart decision because it eliminates that little voice in my brain that keeps asking me if I’ll really need an axe where I’m going I mean it’s not like I’m going to go collect wood right and whoops looks like

We just stumbled upon a thing that for me to pass I got to chop down ooh too bad I laugh the ax behind me I guess God freaking anyways all farming SS should do this from now on and I shall look down and toot toot at those

Who don’t toot at the top of the Forest map we also have the cave cave you know that cave you know the type I’m talking about the typical annoying ass multiflor type dungeon that these games insist on having even though they are crap that’s right I said it you’re crap I don’t like

Them they’re they are the only thing I consistently dislike these dungeons always suck which annoys me because they always end up becoming a crucial part of the progression in these games thankfully that’s a problem for another day right now we cannot enter it as we not also thankfully the game places a

Convenient oneway shortcut near the cave at the top of the mountain so we don’t have to climb all the way back down again today we also learn about another of the game’s caveman themed progression mechanics ideas your tribe is constantly having ideas for new things like taming

Animals riding them and Etc and I’m sure other things that I didn’t get to because again only 10 days but to make those ideas a reality your fellow tries men will need you to invest some materials or contribution points I just put away the plant fiber and also have the appropriate amount of

Prosperity as well thankfully unlike in real life no ideas here are not worth investing in not to worry no NFD Bros around well today we begin to learn how to tame animals I spent too much time at the festival anding about because of the inventory troubles so it’s already

Getting close to my sleepy sleepy time and I still have stamina so you know what that means I have to hurry up and use all of it this is such a freaking mess of a farm what is this what is this what am I doing we end up cutting it

Close time’s running out see Fu get out of my way but I manage to make the day be as efficient as possible I’m not the only one who obsesses with that right you too can’t bear going to sleep with any amount of stamina above the personel threshold right that’s just not

Efficient or day begins and boy we already have so many plants but that’s okay we just got to water them all and oh yeah so you need to go all the way to the river to refu your water skin when it runs out which makes things a tad more annoying mostly because you

Know our Farm’s an absolute train wack and freaking filled with so to get to the river we have to go all the way around it which is not efficient thankfully yesterday’s Alum seems to have activated the collective neurons of the tribe and we already have someone

With an idea that will suit us just well I decided to try to carve a path through the farm to the river while that idea doesn’t get going during our trips to the river we meet our local resident fisherman and he’s a cuy also we get one

Of our first side quests did you help me by catching and contributing oh God free fish that would help me a lot since I totally love fishing mini games I am very excited Ed to get going on this I don’t want to let’s go I hate the fishing mini games they

Suck yay thank God it was just three normal fish and no crazy rare ones or whatever so we make the Rounds Around The Village what are you doing no V decides to stay with us she’s a frun person and Doctor a crush G and I make sure to bet the dog

Because the game lets you which means you should oh you’re adorable when I feel lost I looked to the sky it reminds me that I’m right where I need to be oh that is that is so cute taking trips to the river to ref water skines

Get staring yes while taking a nap I heard the sound of water underground wonder if there’s a way to reach it research we also check in with voka who has finished thinking I guess about her idea on how to tame wild animals their conclusion is that they like bird songs

Therefore they would like a flute song which which kind of sounds like a bird song I guess and if we play enough songs they will like us and want to live with us I mean sure this feels more like a teenager’s plan to pick up girls with a

Guitar but whatever I’m here for you I’m down to clown we set out to make a Concerto in the woods which incidentally is the title of my autobiography animals I bring Tidings hello you the flute mini game is very simple it’s just a rhythm game with one button

We can only play once to each animal per day and four times in total to different animals could have told me about the limitation beforehand but fine it’s it’s not like I care I I don’t care it doesn’t doesn’t look like I care and the animals have a heart meter that

Tells us our progress to get them to share a flat with us we then return to the farm walk walk walk walk walk walk walk right know walk walk walk walk walk walk blend the new seeds found in the forest and go to sleep the fourth day begins venomous

Message that the caves are calling to us which essentially means that the caves are now open to my utmost Delight we roll out of bed and surprise surprise it’s raining so we don’t have to water anything on rainy days most of the characters stay inside socializing so it

Makes it that much easier for us to track them down and chat with them so we can increase our friendship have you ever noticed that the river gets lower in the summer didn’t higher in the spring when it rains water is going to this scot somehow have you never boiled

Water oh what am I saying you look like you’ve never cooked your own meals we track down the tracker woman who was the one working on the well idea she’s done and well well if it isn’t a well oh well that end well is what I always say well and oh it’s Jack’s

Birthday I need to give him something what does he do oh I don’t remember what he does H ja where are you freaking Jag what who are they who are they T is the fire would you want wood do you want Wood Rose I’m just giv a rose

Rose hope you didn’t know it was my birthday today we also redeemed reward for doing the Quest for the fisherman which is a smoker combining the two things that I never do in these games together fishing and cooking thanks for nothing you fishy and I’ve talked to everyone and

Well I guess that means I should go to sleep I mean there’s nothing more to fine fine f go oh the eldrich gods are calling me I got to go to the the mines you guys have fun you know I don’t like fishing I don’t like cooking I don’t

Like going to the mines maybe I just don’t like farming Sims now I don’t actually hate any of those it’s just that depending on how they are done they can be kind of annoying and not that good for example cooking is usually fine but it’s never given enough importance

To Warrant me actually paying attention to it and the other two things usually just have very annoying features that make them a to interact with back to the game on the way to the minds I fully befriended one of the animals unlocking the idea to house them in a

Barn we’ll get to that later I am greeted at the minds by a bunch of goofy ass mystical armadillos question mark let do what we practice I don’t remember my lines I got this don’t be overly dramatic about it the caves are a maze of challenges Beed by the tot to t you

They then tell me to smash some rocks and smash some rocks I do because I’m nothing if not an abent good boy but after doing so I can’t go any further uh we’re done already you may have proven your strength but there’s more you need to do to impress out okay that’s

It guess I’ll go home what the great smashed some rocks got immediately stalled Riven I love mines so much I go back to the Village to do more busy work to make the day efficient before batting down Fifth day begins and I immediately get to working on the farm and it is Ste if his birthday and I honor her by completely confusing her with another old white lady was it her birthday today Theif she’s a she’s not the fif who where’s the fifth you remember my birthday thank you

Okay she kind of kind of like it I guess haven’t had enough of old people farts I go talk to the Builder to get a house built for myself but I haven’t contributed much so far and I don’t have enough coin contributions not coins I

Mean to get it done so I start walking around to for something I can contribute while also talking to people in short it’s your typical grindy Farming Simulator day or TG FSD as I like to call them Yes in the dawn of the sixth day both our leader and ber are working on making a bridge to the left side of the map claiming that the energy there is calling to the shaman but now that the Builder is busy with this project we

Have to put our house in the animal barn on the back burner God damn it you see there’s actually another Farm plot South to the one next to our house that is also filled with trash and it is also a Nuance to go around and considering

That the way from the Town Center to the bridge is pretty much blocked by it I work to carve another straight line through here maybe straight is an exaggeration but still I do the rounds and apparently everybody’s got a bone to pick with oka’s wife jizu sure crucify

Jizu I guess that doesn’t end well for anybody but I guess even back then people picked on the gay FES poor woman she’s just chilling in the forest back on our farm our first crops have come in some nice tasty carrots harvesting then gets eager kinking about how we can get

More seeds he’ll start some sort of seed Garden on the side after some caving with the animals we have done all we can for the day while there’s still light outside more crops are ready to be harvested allowing us to get ig’s idea going meanwhile some stuff grew back in

The shortcuts I made what the swear to God can’t have here the bridge is still going so no home for us but despite that apparently the Builder can take some time to build the barn though so uh we pop it down I guess I don’t know how that works as is tradition we

Go to the forest to forge and sing to the goats and we end up finding a new type of animal near the Mountaintop we return home plant some seeds we found and pass out on the bed today the bridge is complete across the water we find an ominous Dark Forest

And an even ominous ruins it is here that pcha has been calling us to there are inscriptions here that talk about how patcha shook the Earth trapping people in the valley to show everyone what can be achieved by working together the shaman speculate that the earthquake

Mention here is the one that happened at the start of the game so yeah poch is a social path that thinks ENT trapping a bunch of people in a valley is a valid way to prove that the concept of solidarity exists I guess H suddenly

My P toen seems way more cool anyway essentially this place works like the community center from stardew Valley you slowly complete it by accomplishing many challenges that show your progressing in the game and experiencing everything it has to offer we do some more farming seam stuff and the day is over Day N

Begins as most days do with a bunch of farm Shores but soon we actually witness our first friend event with Eloy Eloy I was supposed to do the sweeping F feel old and useless apparently she’s a workaholic that doesn’t know when to quit I have no idea how that feels like

Doesn’t sound familiar at all well that’s crazy girl you’re crazy God I can’t escapee it we invite as many animals as the game allows us for to our newly built Barn newly built Barn newly built Barn newly built Barn newly built Barn newly built Barn the way taking care of animals work

Is the same as in stard Valley you got to put some plant fibers for them to eat inside the barn and that’s pretty much it also pet them sometimes I guess you get fibers by siphon the sweet I wrote down you get fibers by siphon the sweets

How did I do that what I meant to write here is you get fibers by siphon the weeds and grass inside your farm plot in case that wasn’t clear okay I’m you got to Cy the sweets I guess they know what they’ve done anyways I cooked some new

Dishes with the harvested crops mix salad fruit salad yummy yummy fruit salad yummy yummy yummy yummy yummy yummy fruit salad I did my time and I want and then contribute them I don’t think this is Turing kind of sucks how much was the carrot by itself did I

By cooking it we finally have enough prosperity to get that idea of riding animals going but sadly we’re not going to get to see it because this is where our journey with the roots of paa end now if you’re wondering but what about the 10th day I can’t count and I didn’t

Play a 10th day so let’s say that the 10th day is me standing still and dissociating you know like I do in real life yeah so what’s the verdict on roots of paa the most important part of a game’s early hours which is what we’re judging is just whether or not you want

To continue playing it and heck yeah I do the art is great the characters are fun and interesting the mechanics are cool and it utilizes its premise to great effect via its mechanics even as it stands out because of its premise alone a prehistoric sardu Valley it also

Does few things out of the gate better than our darling Golden Child my only issues so far are the fishing mini game and the repetitive music and oh boy does a get Repetitive andj is still out for me when it comes to the mines and the cooking the blood threat about patcha also feels a bit man but yeah it’s a great game and I can’t wait to play more the first game review in this series is already a very

Strong Contender will the others be even better or will they be found lacking stay tuned for the rest of the series so little time but really I just feel like I need to rest right now you know so I’m just going to Cozy up to my nice bed and

Go to sleep where is my M where is it I cannot see it um I might not have fought this through oh oh God no not the lav

THIS TOOK SO LONG, PLEASE LIKE IT. haha

Other music:
Music: https://www.purple-planet.com

Outro Credits:
Nuh Na Nuh by Kevin MacLeod
Link: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/6429-nuh-na-nuh
License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

“Disco Medusae” Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

Fonts:
Beauty School Dropout II by Nick’s Fonts
Budmo Jiggler by Typodermic Fonts

Images:
Laura Tancredi on Pexels for the building.
Sanaan Mazhar on Pexels for the city.
Metal texture by wildtextures.com