I Married EVERY Stardew Marriage Candidate. Let’s Rank Them.

I Married EVERY Stardew Marriage Candidate. Let’s Rank Them.

Last year I had the mission to marry every single Stu Valley marriage candidate and after 12 weddings and 11 divorces I finally accomplished it so with all that heartbreak behind me I felt qualified enough to answer one of Stu’s longest unanswered questions who’s the best villager to marry the criteria

Is um I’m going to roll with it and just go off absolute Vibe a lot of my opinions have changed in the past year like honestly if you go back a year ago my opinions about these bad and bachelorettes have changed so much there

Is a Tik Tok out there where I do a bachelorette ranking and Haley comes last so my opinions have changed a lot and I think I’m going to have a really hard time doing this because I cannot think of anyone who really fits in this

Kind of area I think there’s going to be like a strong lean towards the B to the S’s and before we get into this I would just say um stop that serious these are just pixels in a video game it’s a lot of tongue and cheek stuff please don’t

Yell at me you know healthy discussions because really I like all of these characters apart from one so should we start Maru or Maru As Americans call her okay I’ll be honest with you chat Maru is a little Bland I actually like her but she’s a little Bland outside of her

Dynamic with Demetrius she doesn’t really have a whole lot going for her in her own realm Maru is cool but when you compare her to all the other bachelors and bachelorette and their story lines I love that she’s a woman in stem yes girl boss get it I can’t even think of a

Piece of dialogue for her I think she has one where she talks about how cool mushrooms are I don’t like mushrooms she’s just kind of there if you don’t go up to the mountains you kind of forget she’s there some of her conflict with Demetrius is really interesting about

Her like you know being her own woman and things but there’s not a whole lot of internal conflict there for her and I think that kind of lets her down a bit like there’s not a whole lot of character growth other than she just like learns to not listen to to her dad

Maybe there’s a hint of loneliness she seems like a solid sea however can I remind you all while she’s cute here look at what they took from us it’s just we could have had it all I’m going to go light D for now like a very high D

Closer maybe to a low C we might change it later on not a good start I’ll be honest Alex okay I’ll say it right now Alex is an underrated Bachelor I see a lot of Alex to me I think Alex is an underrated Bachelor first things first he’s hot

There is a massive difference if you marry Alex as a male farmer than if you married him as a female farmer cuz I think if you marry him as a male farmer there’s almost no one better in the valley he’s probably the best Bachelor to marry his storyline is is

Heartbreaking the scene on the beach with his mom here’s a young man who lost his mother at a young age grew up of an abusive father who wants nothing more to prove to the world to himself to his father that he can be something more then suddenly wham bam you come along he

Tells you his story and he finds out he doesn’t need to prove anything to his father or to himself and that he can make changes within his own Community it’s so good if you’re playing as a Mayo he has to come to serms with his sexuality while conservative George is

Over there being unhappy about it the entire time that adds a little bit of sprinkle of flavor in there it’s good the issue is that all this is great when you’re a guy when you’re a female farmer he’s really sexist do you want to hang

Out with me at the beach sometime do you have a bikini that’s a little cringe dude I’m feeling I’m feeling between an A and A B chat I’d say a high B I like his story line I like his I he’s cute his room brings him down a bit and he I

Don’t know he’s got weird things to say when you’re a girl Penny oh Penny she’s fine I I don’t know she’s fine she I know there’s a lot of Penny lovers out there she’s fine she’s just there she’s kind of got the same issue with Maru

Where it’s like I don’t know there just she’s nice first things first penny loses points because in a two hard event she [ __ ] gets up there and she throws George away without his consent that’s got to bring you down a pig or two in terms of look she’s kind of like a

Second evolution Pokémon where if you actually went up to the third evolution you’d get Leah which is way better she’s a little too tradwife for me also she really feels like a good Catholic housewife I like how much she she is a hardw worker for the children and she

Puts the kids first but godamn it at some point she asks if you want to have kids and if you say no she [ __ ] she gets ready to throw hands with you dude she gets pissed it drops all your heart she’s like youa put us on this Earth to

Have children and raise a family and nothing else I just feel like d is a really harsh rating for these two two characters this is why I said I don’t know who’s going to end up in D it’s like I feel like they’re probably going

To be moved up to C later maybe it’s just because Penny’s in the town you can actually see her that I remember her more which makes me kind of want to move her up to se but then I feel like that’s kind of unfair to Maru sorry Penny seed she’s just

Slightly more memorable what do I want to do next I want to do Shane Shane’s um how do I put this nicely not my not not my type very controversial figure a lot of people it’s either people love Shane they hate Shane for me I’m kind of in

The middle he’s definitely not an F he’s definitely not a b he starts out as a bit of a dick but as you guys probably know I don’t really mind when someone’s a bit mean to me lookwise yeah he’s um he’s not a pretty boy I’m not overly

Sure what I can say about Shane that hasn’t already been said cuz like obviously the storyline for him is so good probably the most iconic storyline in stardew Valley Father Figure to ja ass the alcoholism getting the support he needs seeing a therapist dealing with man’s shitty support the thing is for me

I just don’t see him as much as a marriage candidate I don’t think it’s a good romantic story I get more romantic feelings for Maru and I think Maru is boring as [ __ ] I think it’s because he was added later on you know there was the whole poll that concerned ape did

Yeah at least Maru goes stargazing with you that is a romantic ending Shane just gets therapy which is good I never feel romanced towards Shane as good as his story is I think it’s better to be his friend than it is to actually marry him

That almost makes me want to put him in D and move Maru up to C because I actually just had more like romantic interest in Maru all right all right we’re on to Abby baddy extraordinaire my original number one girl my goth Crystal eating girlfriend

She’s fun she’s quirky she’s not an S TI she’s a she has a lot of character she’s really cute some of her lines are so funny the part in the flower dance where you go up to like ask her to dance and she’s like sorry I already have someone

Else to dance with that actually tricked me that is cheekiness at its peak that’s funloving banter it’s really cute I truly think Abby is one of the most alive characters in Stu her storyline lets her down it’s not the strongest storyline Alex has a strongest story line Abigail’s storyline feels like

Chapter 1 it’s act one it’s when the hero leaves the home I don’t want 14 hearts of act one I like the conflict she has with Pierre I like that she wants to be more and go on adventurers and I think that’s a really good stepping stone for her to fall in love

With the farmer like there’s that Bond there I just think the story line lets her down a little bit however she does make up with a bit because she kills a man for you solid a well done Abby I know who I want to do next chat I

Want to do Naruto boy over here okay this was a weird one for me playing through Sam’s storyline was a weird one for me because this is the character I related to most and through the entire year I used to hate Sam and then I actually marry him and oh would you look

At that he’s the one that’s closest to me he’s got the UFO interests he had the rubber B and he’s got the ADHD dumbass head empty Vibes it was kind of scary I think Sam is like I think he’s a sweetheart he’s got the goofy whitee

Kind of smile he does feel a little young but I will say I think he feels a little young when you first get to know him but as his story goes along he grows up I think a part of his story line that gets looked over this kind of going to

Sound sad gives up some of those more like childish dreams and realiz izes that he can do something better and he grows as a person I like that the growth he has is after marriage he’s such a father figure for Vincent while while Kent’s not there I really like Sam and I

Was quite shocked by that side note he’s easy to marry he just likes Pizza he’s like Leah but for the guys I enjoyed Sam I think he was really cool I think all of this is balanced out by the fact that he kind of looks like Naruto dude and

Someone commented on the video saying that if you ran your hand through Sam’s hit be crunchy and I haven’t been able to get that out of my head because of that I’m going to say low be high SE I’m going to say low B tobing what are you

Talking about B is a good rating this is good this is a passing grade you called yourself Sam before yeah I put myself D Emily holy [ __ ] chat when I first started playing this game I thought Abby would be the Top Manic pixie dream girl I was wrong it’s Emily Emily is the

Ramona Flowers of this game this girl is crazy dude in the best way possible not like oh my God she’s so quirky I love her crazy but like actually will keep you on your toes she drugs you and then dances for you this girl is the bad

Influence and you’re going to have the time of your life with her and she is such a wild card look at that stare you do not know what you’re going to get guess what she’s a fashion show oh you’re there everyone’s dressed up guess what now you’re on a DMT trip every day

Is a new adventure of her the thing is would I marry her again probably not I think she suffers from the same thing that Shane does I don’t always feel the Romantic Vibes towards her she’s like the fling you have when you’re 21 she’s not the marriage candidate that I

Wanted I’m going be she gets a good grade for the night in the tent because I’ll always remember her for that we’re going to raid alliot next oh my God chat the Elliot video calls me utter hell when I released that Al video I have never received bad

Comments on a scale as big as this I got paragraphs of hate for this video it was insane a lot of things I said in the video were meant to be like super tongue and cheek I exaggerated my dislike for him for the effect of Comedy yet this

Was not a laughing matter for a lot of people I was still a baby YouTuber when I made this you know I thought it would hit ,000 V people not 200,000 I didn’t realize how much Elliot divided this community I had people writing paragraphs on how I was illiterate I had

People writing paragraphs on how me being a gen Zia hates romance and how I’ll never find true love I had someone call me a [ __ ] I had someone saying I wouldn’t get it because I’m not a writer I’ve ridden since I was 9 years old I went to University to study screenplay

Writing look at this look at these comments why are they so long what the I’m not reading all this I got lambasted for this funny thing is my opinion hasn’t changed Elliot still sucks he’s Eed here I understand all this feedback but like it’s not true he’s not pretentious he just calls Gus

Bartender yeah and then if you watch the scene Gus gets mad at him for it he says he wishes you could be a farmer like you because the writing is so hard guess what buddy you live on a cabin by a SE I’m out here breaking my back on the

Farm for 12 hours making sure you can eat can you put both Elliots and if yeah happy to in the video I will admit a lot of what I said was really tongue and cheap it’s all exaggerated for the effect of Comedy obviously I don’t actually hate Elliot to the extent that

I say I do but I still think he’s the worst character I can understand like if some people would read him as romantic I read him as a posh boy who’s just very pretentious and condescending to people that he considers lesser than him the other thing the event when you’re in the

Boat is a little weird it makes me UNC comfortable and I think I’m valid in saying it makes me uncomfortable I know a lot of people say oh but Harvey also isolates you and kisses you when you’re in the middle of nowhere when Harvey goes to kiss you he leans in slowly and

You reciprocate when Elliot does it he pounces on you bro and then you start shaking and then you have to either say you’re uncomfortable which means it’s meant to be red red either slightly weird or you’re happy there’s two options here you meant to read it

Either way for that it’s a double F I do think he would be literally like a d or a low C if this cut scene was just worded better if it didn’t have the trembling if it just had the slow leaning kiss he would not be the low he

Got done dirty with the whole trembling and the way it’s worded and the fact that he calls you a friend instead of a boyfriend earlier but I’m sorry that’s how it plays out and because of that he gets an if here also I don’t like his side eye all right let’s do Sebastian

Sebastian oh oh God what do I think about Sebastian can I be honest with you I know he’s so popular and I know he’s like alternative and that’s cool he rides a bike that’s hot there’s just something about SB where I don’t I don’t like him as much he’s very conflicted

Internally he has that internal conflict he’s got that distance between between him and Demetrius I feel like when I married Seb I missed something because I had people in the comments being like damn you should have talked to him more often because some of his Di becomes

Really sweet and when I was married to him he still kind of was a bit of a dick but I still liked his story I did I just like a bit more of that connection his 10 heart event is really cool his 14 heart event bit of a let down in fact I

Would almost say character development wise I’m going to swap Sebastian and Alex if I was going after one of the guys Alex is who I would go after I like Sebastian I just think I would go after Alex Moore you do get a frog I don’t

Really care that much I’m going to be honest with you I’m sorry I know that’s controversial I just prefer Alex I will say if you’re looking for a little bit of danger in your life Sebastian he’s got the motorbike he smokes but if a bad boy plays DND D I actually like

Sebastian I just think he’s in this category of like but I don’t love him he’s a B I actually am curious chat how many of you would put Sebastian an s wow the wow he’s so popular is it just cuz he’s like emoy maybe I’m in the

Wrong here cuz he has a lot of character I agree I agree he’s a lot of character that’s why I’m putting him with Emily it’s cuz I think he’s got a lot of character oh [ __ ] you know what wait hang on pause for a second the DN event

Is really cool oh [ __ ] now I’m rethinking things a lot we’re going to watch some of this video so I can remember cuz this was over a year ago that I married him he would ever say the words I love you you that was the big

Part I said he would never say the words I love you and all my comments were like my brother in Christ you haven’t married him for long enough this he does say sweet things I never got him saying sweet things I even went back onto this

Save file off stream to look and see if I could get him to say something sweet I never got it I know he does but from my experience Alex was better Leah here’s the thing chat objectively objectively I am speaking gospel when I say this if I’m going into this

Completely unbiased Lea is the best Bachelor or Bachelorette in stardo Valley she is absolutely the best she’s sweet she’s easy to romance she’s beautiful she lives in the cottage she has the most in common with the farmer this is such a compliment to concerned ap’s writing there is this natural

Development between the farmer and Leah that no other marriage NPC captures I feel like if you didn’t play through or have any bias this is the number one like marriage NPC in the game I think she’s objectively an S her story development with Cal or the x is so good

But the fact that she has to grind and make her way to the top she has to believe in herself as the whole like artist story line I actually think it’s just so good would I marry her over Abigail you know what probably you guys

Know how much I love goth girls and I think I would marry over Abigail easiest next up Harvey Harvey Harvey’s okay I’m not really sure what I meant to say about Harvey here like he he’s fine I think I liked him much more at the time when I married him

But since then I think I’ve mellowed out on him quite a lot he’s he’s everyone’s little war criminal he’s he’s nice Harvey’s just a little safe he’s a male wife and his 14 heart event the one where he makes spaghetti for you so lovely so sweet I don’t know if Harvey

Has that edge to him that I like do you guys get what I’m saying his style of romance is so gorgeous it’s so cute Elliot take notes I would love to go to a coffee shop with this boy and talk and talk but a boy is looking for a little

Bit of Adventure in his life Sam would get me into new things like skateboarding Sebastian would take me on his motorbike Alex would he’s kind of mean I guess there’s a hot air balloon if I’m ranking him am I putting him on the same level as these

Three probably not I would choose these three over Harvey I like him it’s just he doesn’t have that same umph to him that these others have you know what deciding factor he still charges you when you go to the hospital after you marry him CER well you can break the

Geneva Convention but you still charge me when I die in the mines a lot of this teist vibe a lot of this was just like do I Vibe with them yeah kind of maybe not sure all right final one Haley your son looks like a girl she’s my baby girl that’s my number one she’s mean to me what can I say and Nino cord uhoh on the bottom paig you were good I’m for you to be it was a different time B up is like

I actually really like you C is like I like you you’re just a little bit Bland for me D I see you as a friend you know what friend that’s what I’m going to change it to if get [ __ ] yeah I think this is my final ranking I think this is

It I think I’m happy with this you got Haley the love of my life s Abby great storyline lot of Personality Alex enjoyed my experience with him as a male farmer if I was a female farmer I’d probably put him down to down here maybe

Even lower B tier this is the bit of a quirky tier this is the let’s have fun tier C tier I would date you but after three dates we would probably find you kind of boring d tier we changed to the friend tier because I felt bad putting

Shane in D because I really like his story and and F’s the aliot here he should have gone on that boat by Himself who ever thought we would be back here look Sam’s our husband we we have to divorce him because today we’re going after kobus I really I did like you as a husband budy but I want to live my bachelor life what can I say might be

Funny to put something nasty in the L to play a prank on the governor oh buddy you’re about to get a prank in the mail tomorrow morning oh no oh God yeah it’s good to get that head again didn’t you agree to adopt a kid with

Sam yep yes I did is he down here hey buddy hey little guy a human visitor oh this is most unusual what’s that you’re you’re looking for a dark telisman H now that you mention it I did have one in my position not too long ago no no no

I’m not looking for a dark Talisman I’m looking for a best friend buddy oh God now he’s shooting me oh yeah and this leads to this I forget about this area I haven’t done this in so long hey I got it I’m kobis menion of RAR and exotic Goods please don’t tell

Anyone about me humans tend to destroy things they can’t understand oh buddy don’t worry I only destroy destroy marriages what does kobus actually like oh he likes void EGS oh here you go buddy this is an amazing gift for my people it is a great honor to receive

Something like this do you want another 998 of them let’s come back tomorrow I want to see what he says on different days happy Friday kobus he didn’t say anything to me I accidentally just brought an aridium sprinkler from him but he he didn’t say anything to me

I don’t want it you going to speak to me today on Fridays I stay silent as a sign of Devotion to Yoba oh he’s just religious kobis you’re the easiest one yet you’ve opened my eyes to the world of humans I appreciate that I just I

Just gave you a bunch of void IGS is that that that was kind of it wait can I ask him to come to the movies with me kobis do you want to come to the movies with me oh I normally hide myself from humans but I have an idea I’ll meet you

At the theater later what is he actually going to come to the movies whoa is that kobis kobis buddy what’s going on hello I’m very excited to be at the visual entertainment center and to consume the popped corn just like you gr you’re looking snazzy boy hey how am I doing you’re doing

Perfect I’m so proud of you look Abby s and Sammy oh my God that’s so awkward all my exes are here oh that’s so awkward I hope they don’t notice me kobis we just got a divorce with that guy and I dated his two best friends oh

Sh oh no oh kobis isn’t into it kobis hasn’t touched his apple slices at all I’m a terrible friend oh God we have to walk past my ex’s oh yeah I really enjoyed the movie oh hey Sam SB Abby how’s it going guys no I just brought my

Friend out to the movies they’ve never been to the movies before Sam how have you been you’re looking um you’re looking good you too SI yeah yeah the farm no it’s it’s still going you know I still got that ramp poop that you left behind you never picked it up like you

Said you would you know how how have you been not talking no I get it I get it you don’t want to no you’re busy that’s really awkward we’re 10 hearts with kobis we can get him to move in with us what’s the one he likes it’s a void

Pendant that’s right as a gift it signifies the desire to move in together as friends then why is it so much harder to get to the mermaid pendant get buy anything no kobis I know we haven’t known each other for too long but would you move in with me avoid ghost pendant

How did you oh wow oh he’s so cute Sebastian I’m afraid we have to keep this secret neither my people nor yours would accept us living together no screw them people oh there he is hi buddy you’re making something God damn it it’s a Friday he’s

Not talking to me okay fine I tried my best to make human food he gave me a strange bun oh that’s so sweet I always thought these look so delicious you can hug oh my God he’s so sweet as much as I try to be civilized I have the urge to be mischievous

Sometimes sometimes you just want to be a little Gremlin I get it am I right in saying he has a hardan how do I get it it’s say 14 hardan look he’s sitting out by the lake splashing his Feet wait this is so cute who the sea creature e don’t you hurt him no put him down no my boy wait he’s enjoying it he likes It they were friends that was it I didn’t know he was chill like that though I’ve never seen that cut scene before I didn’t know that existed you know what I’m just going to settle for kobus you know what kobis would be right up Here

Over the past year I went through and married every single Stardew marriage candidate and today I decided to give my ultimate ranking on who I hate and who I loved!!! YAYAYAY

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